I (m24) have been dating my girlfriend (f22) for about 9 months now and every time we have sex she gets cuts inside her vagina. At first I thought it was because I was lacking in the foreplay department but she is always super wet down there so I asked her what could be the problem and what I could do to make it better. I guess she was fed up and just flat out told me, I’m too thick for her. To quote her exactly, she said I have “coke can” for a penis. She is reluctant to have sex with me now and it breaks my heart. She has been able to have multiple orgasms in the past, but lately it seems she cannot even have sex with me for 10min without complaining about the pain.
What should I do ? I don’t want to leave her over something like this
27 comments
You could try just taking it slower and maybe try using diolators. My friends was way to big for me but I was able to get used to it over time.
Humblebrag
I’m sorry do hear this, but I’m sure you could find someone who appreciates your coke can cock.
Lube is your friend
2 things:
First, use lube. It doesn’t matter if she’s already wet. Use lube.
Second, go slow. Let her tell you how slow.
Maybe this can work for her. If it’s too much, I’m sorry but I don’t see how you guys can work sexually.
Hi.
That’s it. That’s all I’m here for.
Hi.
😇😇😘
Definitely try lube. And more foreplay.
Are you inserting anything else into her? Fingers? If so, make sure your nails are trimmed and no jagged or sharp bits.
One of the guys I used to hook up with was similar. Lube and making sure I was really turned on was important. He still had to start slow, though. Quickies were not an option.
Go slower.
Like insert the head, and then slowly come out and go in just a bit more and just ease it in there. Can take a while but will be a lot more comfortable for her in the long run. Can be hard to accommodate something that is large instantly from nothing so I’d say go even slower than you already are even if that means like 1/3 of the time you are only like 50% inside her. Might make the start feel less good but at least it will make the whole experience feel better for her.
My husband is slightly too big for me and it can cause mild tearing if we’re not careful, so I can empathize. Some things that are important for us:
1. Foreplay is very important. Yes, she may be getting wet, but the vagina will actually relax and “lengthen” by an inch or so when aroused. It’s much easier to fit when I’m properly aroused.
2. Lube lube lube. I don’t care if she’s gushing liquid, put more lube on it. There should be nearly no resistance going in.
3. There are other ways to get her off than PIV sex (and statistically, they’re more likely to get her off). Don’t worry about lasting ten minutes or more, worry more about making sure you’re both having a good time, which can involve hands, mouths, etc.
4. Some positions may be off the table. Experiment a little and see if any are easier for her.
5. If she’s healing from vaginal tearing, wait until she feels better before trying again. You risk more pain and even infection if you keep fucking before she’s healed.
Those are the most important lessons I’ve learned over six years. Hopefully some or all are helpful!
I had to learn quick on how to up my oral game. Use lube. Find a nice slow steady pace.
20+ years of marriage with 3 boys the wife still has a hard time being on top and from behind. So keep that in mind.
Lots of lube and foreplay. Also look into dilators you can order them online.
This happened to me. He was just too thick and it cut me every time. Regardless of going slow, being aroused, and using lube. We had to break up. We are still friends.
Sometimes you just are not compatible with amazing people.
Lots of foreplay, making sure I squirt and use a dildo before piv helps us. I also got an estrogen cream from my gyno that I apply where I tear. (For me it’s always the same spot, at the base of the opening.) This has helped tremendously, it allows the skin to stretch a little more without tearing.
Do you guys use condoms with spermicide?
Certain positions are better than others for not hurting her. Worst case, you might just have to hold out on going balls deep.
I got the same problems and I can tell you why she’s recluctant.
Getting tears is very painful, during or after sex, and from the cut, she can get infections (I did), which is terribly uncomfortable even during treatment.
Experiencing pain like that really makes my mind restraint from enjoying sex. Instead of relaxing, I’m always worrying and trying to notice if I’m in pain or not. That makes it dry during sex, which is even worse.
Overall, physical struggle is a thing, but being affected mentally by the pain will make it worse. Your gf is truly struggling and I hope me telling you how I feel straight up like this can help you understand the things shes going through.
Going slower and be more caring does the trick for me. Make foreplay longer, lots of kissing and stimulating different parts of her body before you even touch her lady bit. Kiss her all over, tease her, pay attention to her ears, her neck and thighs, make her as wet as possible before you start fingering.
Then during it, make sure u don’t go all in from the beginning, take it slowwww and slowly build it up. Buy lube and use it during, always check up on her during like asking if she could take this or am i being too rough.
Don’t go ham on her from the beginning and try having time for slow, lazy sex with shallower penetration at first.
After care is really important too, clean her up, rest and cuddle while kissing her and asking her if she’s okay. Let her know you care. Communicate more and ask her if doing this and that makes her feel better.
Those are what my bf did for me, I’m still struggling not gonna lie, but things have been MUCH easier.
I wish you both the best.
Buy these! They seriously help. That’ll help you not go in so far, which will really help her but won’t decrease your enjoyment. They’re made of silicone so you would need to use water-based lube. Like someone else said, use lots of lube and lots of foreplay.
https://ohnut.co/products/ohnut-buffer-modular-rings-set-of-4?gclid=CjwKCAiAk–dBhABEiwAchIwkecBBY7ctv5hT5lGIj8rmOOiLrcSef5tLhhYkGd9t7T6vMZh2zxW8hoCYKsQAvD_BwE
I would suggest encouraging her have a checkup with her OB/OBGYN while also adding lots of lube and foreplay to help make things go even smoother and build up to penetrative sex. Vaginas are made to birth human beings and while they do rip from that, you wouldn’t necessarily expect them to regularly rip from even a Coke can size girth. She could have a ph problem going on that causes her natural lubrication to be thicker than it should, or could have a hormonal issue that’s drying her out faster during sex even tho she feels wet at first. I say just cover all bases for now but a check up wouldn’t hurt!
Are you sure it’s your size?
If you shave and you have any sort of stubble it can cause immensely painful tears.
1. A thicc slicc lube. I prefer with aloe vera since it helps cuts.
2. Oral foreplay
3. Lower back massages and pelvic massages to help relax before sex
4. Pelvic Floor Therapy
5. If its also to long u can buy something yhat looks like a penis ring that works as a cushion so u still get the feel, but it wont go too far in, helps alot imo.
6. not shaving (for both), stubble can irritate/cut, and bushes also help with cushioning.
7. foreplay, atleast 15-30 minutes of turning her on before putting it in
8. go sloooow, vaginas are elastic, like they can squeeze out a baby, but to big yo fast and it will just tear.
9. generally just a goood long massage before sex helps with relaxing, and relaxing is key for more comfort
Get her a dildo moulded from your dick to play with sometimes. She will learn the best approach with it.
That doesn’t sound right, a penis should not be leaving cuts. Try lube, lots of live but that doesn’t like the issue
Lube, lube and more lube. This isn’t about her not being wet enough, it’s about how easily you can slid it in. Then go slow.
Never thought that’d happen considering how much women love big dicks. Suffering from success I guess
Separate question since it sounds like this is a newer issue, and if you’re a relatively hairy dude, have you been shaving back the hairs on and around your shaft? If so, the hairs growing back in – or dick stubble – could be rubbing her a bit raw.
Suffering from success
I think sex is a bit too rough. Try to be more gentle with her and every time just let her get used to it before gradually increasing speed. And if your are too thick, you may not be able to pound away at her.