As title says, I (21F) really want to experience an orgasm but I can’t seem to be able to. My problem, which I find both when I’m masturbating and when my bf fingers me is that (1) I’ll/he’ll hit a spot that feels rly good but that lasts abt a minute tops bfr I don’t feel much anymore and have to keep going and trying different angles to find another spot again which means the momentum is just lost and I feel frustrated (2) I dry up pretty fast which makes attempting sex difficult.

I’ve masturbated/been fingered for like 1h30m and still no orgasm. I’ve tried playing with my clit and vagina and even using a small vibrator but still nothing (not like I know what having an orgasm or being close to one feels like). I’ve read the FAQ here too. As for sex my bf and I have tried multiple times but the penetration hurts + bf literally can’t go in all the way so I don’t really enjoy it.

Idk if it’s relevant but I have PCOS and was on birth control for years bc of it but have now stopped. I’m generally not a horny person. Also I only started masturbating/having sexual experiences from early last year and my bf and I were virgins when we both started dating.

Anyone have any advice? Esp for problem 1. It’s been a whole year, I really want to experience an orgasm but I don’t know what else to do. I want to enjoy doing sexual stuff with my bf but it’s kinda sad when I can’t reach orgasm :’(

2 comments

  1. Sex and orgasm are not always physical, half the job is mental.
    Now this may or may not work for you, but if you are having this problem, go talk to a Sex therapist, they might be able to teach you to relax mentally and get yourself in the mood.

    Sometimes this can be accomplished just by talking truthfully to your therapist for a few sessions or they may incorporate some time of antianxiety medication to assist.

    But seriously, find a good Sex therapist, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

    Best wishes 😊

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