The title says it all really.
I met a guy online, who seemed too good to be true at first. I eventually felt comfortable enough to be honest with him about my mental health issues – before I met him, I promised myself I’d lay all my cards on the table then next time I’d become romantically involved so that they have the chance to back out before I get hurt.
He was incredible. He truly tried to understand everything I told him and was super supportive, reassuring me I wasn’t going to “scare him away”.
Fast forward to now – we’ve been in an exclusive relationship for nearly two months and, I know it may sound soon to some but, we are so in love. I’ve never felt like this before because I’ve never had somebody like him before. He gives me zero reasons to feel insecure or scared to be open and honest with. But because of my EUPD, I’m constantly terrified that he’s going to abandon me like everyone else has without him giving me a single reason to feel this way, and I’m terrible at hiding it (even thought I know it’s something I shouldn’t hide anyway).
I’m scared that one day he’s going to get so sick of my paranoia and decide that life would be easier without me.
In short? I’ve finally found my person, and I’m scared of losing him.
How can I control the way I’m feeling? How can I make sure I don’t let my paranoia ruin my relationship?
Edit: EUPD is Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder – it’s more commonly referred to as borderline personality disorder, but as a community we don’t believe that term is an appropriate description of it as a condition.
2 comments
What’s EUPD?
Have a professional help you manage your disorder. I imagine ongoing therapy would be necessary.