Dear women of Reddit, what’s a sentence or expression you hate hearing…from other women?

44 comments

  1. “Don’t put on too much muscle or you’ll drive away most of the guys.” or something of that ilk.

    First, bold of you to assume I’m straight.

    Second, bold of you to assume I do this for men. I want to be able to baby carry every single dog I come across.

  2. “We should catch up some time”
    You know they have absolutely no intention of catching up

  3. “Boys will be boys.”

    Nah. Boys and men still have to behave respectfully to other people. Their gender doesn’t make them exempt from that, nor should it – and this type of statement just worsens the problem by absolving them.

  6. “Don’t you think you’re eating too much? Honestly I could never eat a *full meal* “

  7. * “Men don’t like women who X/Y/Z/whatever” – That’s nice for them, but I’m not curating my life for what random men might like.
    * “Women without children will never know true love” – That’s stupid. Enjoy being a parent without devaluing other people’s life choices.
    * “The bible/quran/whatever says women should/shouldn’t X/Y/Z/whatever” – Not living my life by your religious beliefs, but you are welcome to live yours that way.
    * “I’m not good enough” – You are and you can be. Believe in yourself.
    * “Aren’t you afraid of dying alone/no one visiting you in your nursing home/not having any grandchildren?” – Nope.
    * “Women should live their lives as a help meet for their man. He’s the captain of the relationship and the final authority.” – oh honey. Go for that if you want, but I’m not buying whatever you’re selling.

  8. Anything rooted in misogyny. This includes any comments about grooming oneself to “get a man” or implying that women are responsible for childcare and running the household.

    > “When will you get married/have kids?”

    That’s not my primary goal in life.

    > “If a boy pulls your hair or is mean to you that means he likes you.”

    Stop telling young girls to suck it up and endure abuse instead of telling the boys to knock it off.

  9. Any comments on how unnecessary, unhealthy and toxic it is to enjoy makeup, skincare or any cosmetic procedures. Obviously it isn’t men’s business either, but I can’t stand the holier than thou-attitude from women who refuse to let other women enjoy things.

  10. Any kind of bullying, especially towards other girls’s appearence. Ironically, among the people who bullied me there was many more girls than boys.

  11. He HIT ME! (after hitting him first)

    Women should not hit a guy and start crying when he hits back.

  16. “Is your husband ok with you cutting your hair short?”

    Or

    “If you don’t do xyz to keep your man happy, he’ll look somewhere else” as if it’s our fault if a man cheats, like he has no control over his actions.

  20. “I love your confidence” from thin women to me a curvy woman, it just screams “I would never be that confident if I looked like you”.

  21. “My husband/boyfriend doesn’t allow me to wear that”

    “My husband/boyfriend doesn’t like short hair”

    Like ok, so what? They’re not the ones washing and wearing the hair, YOU are. Are they the ones detangling long hair everyday or sitting in that salon chair for hours? Do what you want with your hair and clothes.

  22. “Oh you’re being dramatic, the same thing happened to me and it was fine”
    From medical things to life experiences- this sucks and I hate it

  24. Comments about behavior or appearance not being “lady-like”, as if there is a single acceptable way to live your life.

  25. “She thinks she’s not like other girls”

    I hear this so often just directed at a woman for wearing converse, or no makeup, or liking anime or some other stereotypical ‘nerdy’ interest. My friend wore converse to prom and said nothing and got half a dozen mean comments from girls in heels telling her she was “not like other girls” and demeaning her for not wanting to wear heels.

    I know at least ten women who fit the “not like other girls” stereotypes and they are a million times kinder, more feminist, and more confident in themselves than the dozens of women who disparage them for their ‘internalized misogyny’ aka not complying with feminine ideals. So many of these women never utter the phrase of being not like other girls, but since they don’t fit in they get treated as misogynistic traitors

  26. You could have your pick of men with your pretty face. You just need to lose a little weight…

  27. When they say “he’s cheating on you surely” if someone’s boyfriend behave weird. I mean wtf

  28. “Just wait until you have kids!”

    And then the spew of word vomit that follows when I say I’m not having any.

  30. Men do not find X attractive. (Why should I care? Maybe I’m not interested in men who don’t like X.)

  32. “Get married, why won’t you guys get married? I’ve been married for 20 years, you should get married!”

    Aaaarrrrrghh x_X

  33. when they go on and on about how amazing women are but then generalize the entire male population negatively.

  34. Finally, all the words from my aunts are finally useful

    -“The clock is ticking, go and get you a husband before you are old”

    -“You look kind of chuby, there is no men that like fatty”

    -“its good you got a job, but what about a boyfriend?”

    -“You dont have a boyfriend and use short hair, liking girls is not natural… You should go to church and ask for help” (i dont have any preference, i just like my hair short but for them is like a signal of my preferences. )

  35. “Oh that’s just something you have to get used to/deal with”

    No, I don’t need to accept misogyny, you may have had to but I won’t.

  36. In reference to not wanting children: “You’ll change your mind.”

    I would never scrutinize a woman who does decide to have children, so why is it appropriate to challenge those of us who choose not to?

  37. Any variation on the “I don’t get along with other women” sentiment. There are 4 billion women on Earth and you haven’t gotten along with a single one? Really? And you think that’s a reflection on them and not you? And when there’s that not-so-subtle insinuation that *they’re* not like other women, that they’re cool, have interesting hobbies, value logic, whatever, it’s so ignorant. Women are as varied as men. There are thousand, if not millions, of women *just like you*. There are women who have the same interests, the same thought processes, the same life experiences. You’re not special, you’ve just been gulping the misogynist kool-aid. And the sad thing is, when these women encounter a soul sister they’ll reject her either because they’re so biased against women or because they’re going through life competing with every other woman trying to prove they’re better than other women.

  39. Any variation of “boy mom” or “girl mom.”

    If your whole mom-ing style and identity is based around your child’s perceived gender, you’re doing something horribly wrong.

    No, your kid being silly and making a mess is not a boy thing, it’s a *kid* thing.

  41. “Omg im so busy; I need a wife!!! Lololol.” No. You need a maid or cook or personal assistant or driver. Please stop using those words interchangeably.

  42. Being told by women that I am not a true mother because I had two emergency C-Sections and not natural childbirth… And as a bonus, my body did not create milk so my children are not truly human because I fed them formula.

  44. “If that [trivial inconvenience] happened to me, I would literally kill myself!”

    My oblivious coworker says this on a regular basis, and my depressed sassy ass wants to reply “bet”.

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