I’m not sure how to go about this. I’m almost certain that the last guy I dated was a narcissist, a sociopath, or (most likely) both. He lacked empathy, he constantly told lies, and he manipulated, gaslit and tried to isolate the people in his life. He constantly sought external validation from others and believed he was a special person with special ability. He love bombed me and discarded me when I did not give into his advances as soon as he wanted me to. He did it in a masterful way; he is incredibly charming and everyone admires him when they meet him, and I fell for him to the point where I was desperate to keep him.
When our time ended, I learned that he lied about our relationship both during and after our time together. I learned about how harsh he was to some of the people around him when they did something to upset him or criticize him. The thing that scared me the most was hearing that he once revealed that he didn’t feel compassion, and had to teach himself to when he was a teenager.
I know he is manipulating the girl he is currently dating, and that he has not been as faithful to her as she thinks. I have heard about some of the ways he has lied to her and I am genuinely concerned for her, but I don’t think anyone will believe me if I suggest that he is devoid of emotion. He is very good at faking his persona, and he has convinced the people around him that I have ill intention and that I am lying about our relationship. I have never lied about it. I don’t know how to warn the people around me about him. I don’t want to take him down in any way, I just don’t want to him to keep manipulating the people in his life.
2 comments
It’s not your responsibility to warn other people about him. Your true friends will believe you and listen to you. Don’t bother with the rest. They will learn the hard way.
You don’t. The only move you have is to move on with your life and stop keeping tabs on what’s going on in his life.
Nothing you say or do is going to change him or convince anyone else of the reality of the situation, if we’re to assume it’s true. I want to believe you, and I have no reason not to, but that alone should tell you how anyone else will feel, especially someone else who’s in a relationship with him who’s already inherently biased.
You didn’t wake up to reality and leave him. He left you (and you didn’t tell us why). Only after that did you suddenly wake up to what was going on. As such, again, you have no reason to believe anyone else will believe you over him.
People will need to live and learn. It sucks, but that’s reality. Right now, you need to more importantly acknowledge the fact that you need to take measures to move on, because you haven’t. Focus on you. Forget about the rest. Good luck.