Need some advice about this uncle.

I have an uncle who is/was what I would consider abusive. He used think he is an authority figure in my life and used to set rules for me and punish me when I broke them. He used to yell at me, call me names and humiliate me in front of my parents, his wife and kids, and every other family member. He hated me spending more time on my phone than what he thinks appropriate and used to snatch my phone, hide it and control my behavior. There were many instances where I told him to stop and mind his own business. I don’t think I owe him anything since he’s not my legal guardian. He would respond by saying that he loves me and is only trying to discipline me for life so that I prosper. I never found that genuine. I am pretty sure he was only being manipulative.

I have abusive parents too. They allow him to abuse me because they abuse me for similar reasons. Once, after being abused by my parents I texted my uncle and asked him questions about his grades and career; he is not financially successful and I was indirectly mocking him for revenge. He called my mom up and told her. My mom abused me and warned me not to insult my uncle again.

It’s been 4 years since I met my uncle. I am going through a traumatic event in college. My mom called my uncle and shared what we are going through. She said that I am not able to get over the “scoldings” my uncle gave me. My uncle responded to that by saying that he was only trying to motivate me and meant well; he said that he had no idea I was finding it hurtful and promised to change his approach towards me by which he meant he whole motivate me with positive reinforcement. My uncle has invited me to his house and told my mom that he will give me emotional support and will be there for me in my hard time. I wonder if I should visit my uncle.

I spoke to this to my best friend I’ve known my entire life. My friend knows all the stories about my uncle and believes my uncle is a terrible bully who was deliberately trying to break me down, not help me in any form. My friend says it’s strange that my uncle has changed so drastically in four years. He believes my uncle is just calling me to his house to bully me further as a form of revenge for making fun of his grades over text. He thinks it’s a red flag that my uncle told my mom that he had NO IDEA that I was hurt by his “discipline”, since it should have been clear when was telling my uncle to back off but he didn’t. He thinks my uncle is pretending to be nice in front of my mom and will bully me worse when my mom is absent.