So today I (15f) was talking to my grandma (65?f I don’t remember how old she is to be completely honest.) and she ended up mentioned how she thought that it was stupid that my mom (49f) was in denial about my brother having OCD and me having ADHD. I was shocked by what she said, I mean I knew my brother (11m) had OCD he shows one of the more well known signs of it and plus my mom once mentioned a story where she said that he probably has OCD but she refuses to get him checked. However I was surprised by the fact that I apparently have ADHD, while I knew there was something about me that my mom was hiding I don’t know that it was that. I mean the only reason I suspected that she was hiding something is because she got extremely pissed off at me a few months ago when I brought up stress balls and fidget toys because I asked her if she could buy me one since it helped me focus a lot more when it comes to my schoolwork.
By the time my grandma dropped off at home, I was pissed off because of my mom hiding the fact that I had ADHD which would’ve been helpful to know in the first place as i’ve spent years barely passing school because I was having trouble being able to focus on my homework or not being able to properly think as my mind is all over the place most of the time. I ended up venting to my friends about it on discord and my brother saw my messages and proceeded to tell on me to our mom. A few hours ago I overheard my parents talking about it and they’re pissed off at me for finding out about it but they’re so in denial that they refuse to mention that I have it and claim that my grandma lied to me. I’ve been anxious since I overheard their conversation since they’re doing this thing they do when they’re pissed off at me or my brother where they’re very clearly pissed off at us but act like they’re not and it always makes me really scared and anxious.
The reason why my mom is in denial is because her logic is that if someone is part of the LGBTQ+ community or has a mental disorder or a mental illness, then to her that means that there’s something wrong with them. Which, by her logic means that there’s something wrong with me and my brother and she doesn’t like the possibility of that as she thinks that we must be perfect in a sense of we can’t be part of the LGBTQ+ community, we can’t be suicidal, we can’t be stressed, and we can’t have a mental disorder or mental illness. Anyways right now I don’t know what to do as I can’t risk confronting her as she’ll yell at me and I can’t have that happen as thanks to her and my dad usually yelling at me, I have an issue where I can’t handle loud sounds or else i’ll get really overwhelmed to the point if the sounds continue i’ll start crying and uncontrollably shaking. So uh, what should I do in this situation?
3 comments
Damn. That’s fucked up. She should have told you and like you said, her not telling you made life harder for you when it didn’t have to be. But if you’re not in a safe space where you can confront her, I say go on survival mode. Think about you. Now that you know, Google ways to help yourself. Google free therapy. Teach yourself what you can and seek help. School counselor, trusted teacher, someone. You deserve help.
Sounds to me she wants perfect this and that. Children aren’t perfect. When she had children she agreed to have her child. Even if they are disabled, mentally ill, gay, so on. It’s still her child and it’s not your responsibility to be perfect. Things would be easier for you if you had been giving the proper treatment. By being in denial she is denying you a proper path to success and only hurting you. She needs to know he logic is flawed.
Get a job and build independence so you can see psychologists on your own dime