I feel like I should have higher standards like if a guy does not make the effort to message enough then I should have the standards to move on to a guy who will.
Because the way I am now I am looking for “his” messages or accepting bread crumbs. Or “he” will message back when I message but it’s not with some feeling of eagerness or attempt to pursue me.
But at the same time I worry that if I have standards I will just come off as “hard character” and end up alone. I lack the self worth and don’t feel that I am interesting enough, or worthy of a guy chasing me etc. I worry that I can’t make a guy feel love/good feelings for me and think or dream about me etc. That I only have sexual to offer.
When, ironically, before I used to be confident and sure within myself.So what do I do?
I tried the “have hobbies and keep at busy thing…..but it didn’t work”
4 comments
Never settle for less.
Everyone has standards and they’re perfectly fine to have. Someone who isn’t engaged in a conversation is someone you shouldn’t invest time into plain and simple. People have busy lives but if they’re putting in half effort and you’re putting in much more then consider cutting your loses. Don’t settle and abandon your principles and standards just because someone gives you attention and things seem to go well but if your ideals don’t match up that’s something you need to consider.
Dating is a two-way street. Both parties should be initiating conversations, planning dates, etc. If you expect men to bear the brunt of the emotional burden while you’re still getting to know each other, resentment will fester.
Drop the archaic gender norms from the 1950s and “chase” guys as much as they chase you.
I think you overthink too much. Figure out what you want in a partner, and what you don’t want. Don’t add another imaginary person of more what if’s in your head.