How do you guys deal with mixed signals from a girl you’ve been dating ?

22 comments

1. You’re asking the wrong people, dude. Who really knows? Could be she’s a narcissist, could be she’s going through some stuff, could be she’s falling out of love with you.

   The only one who knows is her. So ask her.

2. Not that into you. Most of the time. Even if she is, do you want to be with someone who has love language such as of her.

   Let me guess your emotions, just hurt in different ways, move on.

3. Don’t give her the time of day. Withdraw attention.
   If she’s playing, she’ll fold and give in.
   If it’s something serious she’ll come and tell you (like some medical emergency)

   It’s always good practice to give space and not come across as too needy of her attention time or approval in the beginning.

4. Use the Dennis method

5. By pushing her away and moving onto the next person.

6. How much sex have you had with her? If the answer isn’t a pretty big number, it’s time to move on.

7. If a girl actually cares you will know it- she doesn’t.

8. Keep multiple girls in the rotation so that you are not thinking about whether or not one particular girl is paying attention to you.

   The whole point of dating is to find people you enjoy spending time with. People who also enjoy spending time with you.

   Do not date one person at a time. Keep your options open until you find one who is worth giving up the other options for. Or even better, find someone who thinks the same way and is cool with each of you having friends who you may or may not be fucking On Any Given day.

9. Same way you deal with a job offer that’s stringing you along. Find other options then tell her you have potential interests but you prefer her. If you don’t have other options just suck it up and dedicate more of your time to yourself and less to her

10. Asking. Please put yourself out of your misery and out of her games (if she’s playing any, she might just be confused herself)
    Talking is the key.

11. Ask her man. It’s literally that simple.

12. I usually talk to her straight up and not strangers on the internet. Its a lot easier to deal with.

13. By moving on and not paying attention of them anymore.

14. I don’t.

    Did a whole relationship with someone like that. Its not what I want for the rest of my life. So the very moment it appears, ill bring it up and have a discussion about it. If it keeps happening and no effort fix it can be seen. Im gone.

    The only exceptions are people who have diagnosed mental illness that can explain the behavior. (schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder). However I still expect the mental illness to be the issue. If you have schizophrenia and you are ghosting me and its not because of a delusion or any voices. Then you can fuck right off with that. Its only excused if its related to said mental disorder.

15. Play her game. Pull back, seem uninterested. If she really likes you, she’ll panic and pursue you. If not, then she wasnt that into you.

16. Personally I’d bail. I’ve had my fill of nonsense like that.

17. Well, I mean, how long ghost-periods are we talking?
    And what’s her living, family, and work situations?

    I suspect though, if you turned down sex, that she feels like you don’t even like her. Unfortunately, both men and women are brainwashed into thinking men always want sex. Just look at the reasoning that “it’s hard for men to get laid even if he’s average or better, but a woman can get laid any time she likes, because men will fuck _literally anything_ at literally any time”
    Turning down sex, if she has been made to believe that tripe, will likely mean she felt you didn’t like her, and is being careful. It’s sad, but could be the case. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. You shouldn’t force yourself into stuff just because it’s “expected”

    Also, but I am a bit unusual I have come to understand, I spend 12 hours a day at work and in commute, I sleep for 6, I spend roughly 1 hour getting ready in the morning, and roughly 1 hour cooking-showering-eating when I get home. That’s 4 hours left of the day, that I can spend on you, or my mom who is having a breakdown because my grandmother is early stage alzheimers, or my friends who I see maybe once a month and want to keep a connection with, or the classes I teach from time to time, or the classes I take, or gym, or practicing music, or doing a hobby. Unless I have to grocery shop, but usually I keep that to weekends, which, speaking of weekends, I have to shovel snow, do laundry, do dishes, clean the house, aforementioned shopping, make lunchboxes, see friends&family, help my mom, do whatever repairs or upkeep my home needs, do hobbies, and find time to just relax, maybe sleep 8 hours instead of 6.

    That’s just me. Everyone has a different situation. Maybe she is a manipulative asshole? Those exist. Maybe she’s just busy. Maybe…maybe Anything, really.

    I recommend you ask her. Perhaps she won’t communicate openly, in which case, don’t waste time on her. But it might just be that you aren’t the center of her existence, and you can’t realistically expect to be, either. A life consists of a lot of parts.

18. Have you analyzed your actions with her? Have you been consistent in the way you’ve treated her? If yes, then may she is scared about how much she likes you so she pulls back. Talking with her openly is the only way to really know.

19. The more mixed the signal. The bigger burden she will cause. Keep it simple

20. I ignore them and show interest in a woman who shows interest back

21. Don’t bother. If she was really invested in any serious way in starting something with you, you wouldn’t be on here asking the question.

    If you choose to continue engaging with her, fine, but don’t be surprised if she continues being flaky and inconsistent

22. “*What you put up with, you end up with.*”
    If they play stupid games, vanish so they can win stupid prizes.
    Otherwise, you’re just teaching them that you’re someone they can easily play with.