Been dating a guy for a little over a month now, it got serious fast. On paper he’s fantastic and we clicked quickly. However in the past week he’s been acting completely different and frankly it’s not a way I’d want a life long partner to behave. I’ve asked him about it twice giving him two opportunities to have a conversation with me about it, we’ve been great communicators up to this point.
I am at the point where I’d like to let him know I’d no longer like to date him. Is it proper to let him know the reason? Would that be too harsh? Or can I simply tell him that I no longer want to date him? (I’m leaning towards not saying the reason, me already asking him about it twice seems like enough)
9 comments
A month is not that long. It’s perfectly fine to simply say that you don’t want to date him anymore without going into details.
A little over a month? I’m firmly in the “I’ve realized we’re not compatible, it’s best if we don’t meet again, best of luck” text camp.
Maybe around, like, 6 months it gets a little dubious to end something without explanation, but even that’s context dependent. Here, you’ve pointed out what you consider bad behavior (or at least incompatible behavior) twice and he hasn’t been willing to discuss it. That does not instill confidence that he’ll react to a frank explanation of the reasons behind the break-up with grace and humility (rather than the all-too-common bargaining, insulting, lying, or some combination thereof).
I think you’re good to end it by text, and block if you want.
Well it will help him going forward
How obvious were those “asks”. Is it blunt – “I would like to talk to you about XYZ”? But i think its good to say something vs ghosting.
I wouldn’t bother going into details, but now I’m curious, what sort of behavior is he showing?
Yeah, you tried, he wasn’t open to doing anything about it. Not your job to try and change, educate or better someone. Just tell him it’s not working. You owe him nothing.
You are not obligated to. You are not obligated to help teach or train an adult man. It’s insane how much social conditioning and guilt women have around this.
I send a polite rejection text and immediately block so I don’t have to see any responses. I’ve gotten either nasty messages or begging/pleading responses before.
If you’ve given him an opportunity to talk about the issue, and he hasn’t, he will hopefully be smart enough to parse out the specific reason.
Ya a month ain’t no thang.
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