[28M][27F] was engaged and now living separate.

My ex Fiancée and I have had some issues recently. We have/had been together for 6 years. I am in the military and just started my second tour. I work a lot. 1-2 years in I was talking to other women on the side cause I was stupid and in college. I got caught and have not once done anything to be questionable to her. I have become extremely loyal and done what I could to rebuild that trust.

A year ago I proposed. We were very happy and we moved to the next duty station. Apparently around this time she had started having doubts and never voiced anything to me. It really bothers me cause she should be able to voice her concerns with me, but I wasn’t approachable enough or validating her feelings correctly. We move into our second home and I go about renovating everything to what we picked (painting the walls, installing fans, light fixtures, faucets, etc).

So when she starts working at the Lowes here, she starts getting interacted with some male co workers. They become friends and one night other female and male co workers to out to eat and drink. She had too much and this guy apparently kissed her. She left and came home. This dude had been lying to her about how he is separated and divorced, but they were living in separate rooms and not divorced at all. I called him and was like the fuck dog? And gave all the evidence to his wife. They are still together lol. I told her these men are manipulating her, I know cause I am a man. One dude sent her pics of himself working out and she was convinced he was just showing her how he used to look with short hair. Before I found out she was going to leave me and when I did she changed her mind. We start counseling and things get way better, thought the relationship was stronger.

Well a week before Christmas I was playing a game and my phone died. She left her laptop on the couch so I googled what I was struggling with and I see “Is it normal to have feelings for someone while in a relationship?” I confront her and she asks me what do I want and I told her… (regrettably) I need you to leave, tell your parents and get out. In hindsight I am learning through therapy that this was a survival response due to being betrayed so much by friends, family, and past relationships. I didn’t mean it and regretted it very quickly. She left a day early to visit family and took of her ring and everything. She wouldn’t talk to me and said she needs space to think. When she got back she wanted to move out and focus on herself. I understood where she was coming from because she was a very insecure, low self esteem, and timid person when we started dating. This was due to being taken advantage of in college before we met. That being said I would find it hard to believe she is fucking some other dude cause this wouldn’t be like her at all. I tried to talk to her about counseling but she doesn’t want to do couple’s counseling.

So she is moved out and is doing her thing and getting into therapy. We are talking, but only about co parenting our dog we got when he was 8 weeks. Im trying really hard not to text her, I’ll just wait for her to text me when she feels like telling me about how our dog is doing or wants to talk to me. If it matters the dog is under my name legally, but she is more attached to him and he is her unofficial emotional support animal.

Now, I have done wrong in the past I accept that. I also have learned that I was not speaking her love language (words of affirmation). I was speaking what I preferred (acts of service). I have definitely been suicidal and put a gun to my head at some point. Im fine now. I just want to work on our relationship, but she wants the space. So what do y’all think about these events? Can I turn this around? Is it salvageable? I’m having a hard time not being able to talk to my best friend.

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TLDR: SO does not want to work on our relationship and wants to focus on herself atm.