Hello everyone !
I have a concern I would like to share.
I’m currently in a relationship with a former smoker.
He had stopped smoking cigarette for me because he was aware I don’t like that. I never ask him to stop, he did it one or two weeks before we start dating, but it was for me.
He also smokes weed. Few months ago it was several times a day/week.
It’s been months seen he bought some but he keeps smoking with his friends (they all smoke cigarettes and pot).
But I’m not a fan of the idea that he and his friends can’t see each other without smoking.
For example, we both like board games. But when his friends come to play they smoke even if it’s a Sunday and we work on Monday.
I don’t feel good about this situation and I don’t know how can I accept that part of him.
I am not against pot, but I prefer keeping it for a few occasions, like parties one in a while.
I don’t know how to talk about this with him because he tends to become angry when I try and he already have told me that he will never stop pot.
I don’t want him to quit but to try not to smoke before driving or before a work day. It’s just that I’m bother he can’t have fun with his friends without weed.
Td-lr: How do you accept the fact that your significant other smoke weed?
11 comments
>he tends to become angry when I try and he already have told me that he will never stop pot
This is when you walk away. Not because of pot, but because he’s not the right person for you.
edited because points were made
If you can’t accept it, it may be better to just date nonsmokers than try to get people to change their personalities for you. You shouldn’t have to accept this if you don’t want to, so find someone more compatible.
In short, you can’t change them. If you have to convince them to change in order for you to accept them, then you either drop the subject or leave. It doesn’t make you a bad person if this is a deal breaker for you. You just can’t change someone who doesn’t want that same change.
Sounds like you aren’t really compatible unfortunately. He gave up cigarettes for you and only smokes weed socially it seems. That is a major accomplishment and shows he really loves you. Him smoking some bud once in a while is not any different than people that have a beer with friends. You either need to lighten up or find a more conservative boyfriend. Your boyfriend isn’t even a pothead you would lose your mind if you dated a real weed head.
Also I think you are confusing the hangover effects of alcohol with weed. If you smoke on Sunday afternoon you are fine working the next day with no ill effects. Maybe you should just take a few puffs off a joint and see that it isn’t a big deal.
You may just need to end it. If you knew that he smoked when you got with him then it’s difficult to keep asking him to stop as it was something he’s done before he met you. We can’t control other peoples lives, so if you don’t like it, find a lovely non smoker.
>I am not against pot, but I prefer keeping it for a few occasions, like parties one in a while. I don’t know how to talk about this with him because he tends to become angry when I try and he already have told me that he will never stop pot.
You knew he smoked weed when you met him. You can’t arbitrarily decide what occasions are ok or not ok to smoke weed. That’s pretty controlling. He already said he wouldn’t stop smoking weed so you have two options, accept it or leave. He told you he doesn’t want to change so you cant force it so he fits your preferences.
On the driving… For an avid pot smoker being high goes away pretty quickly. I would think he knows his limits with driving. But if you don’t think he does and you don’t feel safe with him driving then make that clear and do not get in the car if you feel unsafe.
I m in a serious relationshion 45 m 43 f My Parnter doesn’t like me smoking weed so i stopped. Then i d have it the odd time and she wasnt happy. I recently told her love me for who I am or don’t.
It’s not really fair to get into a relationship with someone and try and change them. He’s already compromised to please you, where are you going to draw the line?
Don’t really see the problem. What he does with his friends is imo his own call, you cannot control that, unless its anything crazy and very endangering to his life. And if he smokes weed on a sunday before work, so? That will not alter your opportunities the next morning.. and next to this, he is an adult? like why are you concerned about that?
As a stoner this is the exact type of girl I do not date for this reason. It should never be a question
>they smoke even if it’s a Sunday and we work on Monday.
>I don’t want him to quit but to try not to smoke before driving or before a work day.
I don’t get it. What do you think is going to happen if he smokes the day before he has to work? Can you help me understand?