Been together almost 5 years. This past year our relationship has gotten bad. Day before yesterday we were good, we hung out & had sex. Yesterday he ignored me for absolutely no reason which really upset me. I reached out multiple times with no response. Today I decided to stop his gas station to see what his problem was. Before anyone starts going off on me about going to his job… we ALWAYS hang out at his job bc he is always working etc. I went inside and asked him what his problem was and he said to leave him alone & he didn’t say a word to me the 3 hrs I was there (I usually stay his whole shift). Yes I should’ve left but this is usually how we deal with our problems by talking shit out. So I waited for him to talk to me. I’m chillen in his office waiting on him like usual when I noticed on the camera he left the store… right about his coworker came in. I’m thinking he must be coming right back bc why would he just leave in his office without saying something to me?? 5 minutes later the cops come in looking for me bc he call them and said I wouldn’t leave his store. I’m shocked to the core bc like I said I hang out at his job more than we hang out outside his job. So if he wanted me to leave why didn’t he have just said that? Everyone says leave me alone but you try to make them feel better so I didn’t take it as serious. Best believe I talked to the cops about my situation and they understood & told me to just go. I was livid that he did that, almost ruined my life, betrayed me . I knew I was done for good after that. I’m driving home and he is BLOWING UP my phone with 20-30 miss calls . I answer cause wtf does he want? He said that he hung out on them but didn’t know they would actually still show up. Then says for me to come over bc he’s cooking. Mind y’all… I was at his store for 3 hrs and ge didn’t want to talk to me or even look at me. Tells me to leave him alone. Then does something bad for me to leave him alone for good then suddenly… wants to invite me to hang out. I’m lost for words. He always does shit like this. He tells me constantly to leave him alone and how much he means it however When he knows did did/ said something that crossed the line to the point he thinks he lost me … he will fight for me to go back. As you can see this is why I get so confused after his “leave me alone” bc he never means it. I’m obviously done now . But why does he do that? Does something he knows was really wrong then hits me up to go see him when I’m feeling done for good? Any other normal small fights we have he has no problem never talking to me for a month sometimes like he doesn’t care about me. It shouldn’t matter however I would love to know why. To clarify he OWNS the gas station

25 comments

  2. > Today I decided to stop his gas station to see what his problem was.

    So he owns a gas station and you can just stop it from functioning?

    I am going to give him a pass if he owns that gas station precisely because you can then stop it from functioning in order to compel him to talk. If not, you probably deserve better.

  3. This relationship clearly isn’t working. When you say I’M DONE, that should also mean you’re done trying to get inside his head to explain his actions. Its not your problem anymore. The period after breakup is for you to reflect and improve on yourself, and to think about what you want in a relationship. Its not to analyze your ex.

    Side note – this guy was 26 and started dating an 18-year old. Thats an automatic red flag for most people.

  5. When the police are involved, it is time to move on. This isn’t romance and love, it is dysfunctional Jerry Springerish.

  7. 18 and 26 when you guys got together huh. The guy may not be all the way there mentally. He’s kinda skeevy to be honest.

  8. You should leave and block him for good. He is seeing someone else that’s why he ignored you. They also visit him there at the job too. But he isn’t going to turn down sex from you when he isn’t doing anything else in between. The cops getting called on you should have been a wake up call that this relationship is over.

  9. He is toxic and controlling. Break up with him now. Block him on everything. I wonder if there was someone else at the gas station that he didn’t want you to meet.

  10. Do you have a wish to get arrested? If yes keep communicating with this guy. Otherwise move on

  11. Girl, this is abusive behavior. “Go away” “no come back”. Over and over and it drives you nuts. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This isn’t going to improve. Leave him, block him. Calling the police on you for “hanging out” is a 100% dealbreaker.

  12. You need to get a hobby. How is hanging out while your partner works at a gas station even mildly interesting? Doesn’t that annoy his boss on the days he isn’t actively ignoring you? Did you at least download movies to a tablet to watch while you waited?

    Don’t stalk your boyfriend, don’t continue to date someone who calls the cops on you. This is a bad situation. Go hang out with your friends and have them talk some sense into you.

  13. If someone tells me to leave them alone …the last thing I’m gonna do is stick around their work place for another 3 hours. There comes a point where someone is disrespectful continuously and you need to start placing some bme on ourself for sticking round. You can’t continue to be treated if you stop going back to him.

  14. You need to get off the set of Jerry Springer and go live a normal, everyday life with someone who isn’t full of drama and bullshit.

  16. We can’t read his mind.. You can’t read his mind. What is obvious is he is playing games with your mind and only you can stop it. He’s too old to act like this and you are too young to put up with it. Date someone your own age and have fun. This relationship sounds like torture.

  17. OP, stop wasting your youth on this asshole. He’s doing his best to ensure that you are confused because that’s how abusive men behave. He plays games because he’s immature and doesn’t know how to control his emotions. He isn’t some great guy if he’s constantly pulling shit from ignoring you for a month to calling the cops. He wants you to get to a point where you keep crawling back. I’m glad you’ve decided to end things for good because your relationship is so far from healthy that it’s basically on mars.

    Also, ask yourself this… would you date someone who’s 18? Because he was older than you are now and decided to date you. Do you see how creepy that is yet?

  18. He is 8 years older and plays such toxic games. He loves that he can treat you like shit but as soon as he say “com back” you come running like a dog. It is powerplay. Calling the police was the next escalation. After this he will hit you or even rape you and he has trained you so good that you will come back even after this.

    Just think. He threated you like shit so often, told you to go away and you alway come back. Today you wasted hours again even though he behaved like an asshole. He mostly made fun behind your back. He called the cops on you. This could have ended so bad. He didn’t care, no he wanted it. And then he behaves like nothing happens, not even remorse, and you should come for dinner?

    And to prove that he trained or let’s say groomed you already: You are posting here instead running as fast ss you can.

    Of i just saw that you are 5 years together, so 18 and 26? You were barely an adult ehen he went after you. He really groomed you.

    Please, end the contact. block him everywhere. And go to therapy. He did more damage than you think!

  22. This is toxic. Why do you want to be with a boy? No man acts like that. Next time get a boyfriend who is your age.

  23. When y’all started dating, your maturity levels matched. That’s why it probably felt good, you worked things out, etc. But now you’ve grown into an adult who expects adult communication (like not ignoring someone all day for no reason!) and he’s not able to provide the level of mature communication you deserve. He was 26 when you met, so he won’t be maturing further; this is as good as it will get.

    You can continue to have him manipulate you because he’s unable to communicate like an adult, or you can choose what’s best for you!

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