This is mostly just a vent that I need to get off my chest. I’m a 24/f and I haven’t had a friend in almost 3-4 years now. I’m very lonely and I would like to make more friends (and I could if I wanted to), but it just seems pointless because I can’t connect with anyone anymore. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. Small talk feels shallow to me and I can’t connect on a deeper level. If I invited people to hangout with me, I know that I’ll lose contact quickly with them because I won’t be able to connect with them. I feel different from everyone else. The older I get, the less I’m able to connect with others, even with close family and people that know me well.
6 comments
I’ve been feeling the same way recently. I’ve moved around some in the last few years and it has been difficult to make new, meaningful friendships. I honestly don’t know if the people around me are simply not up to “adding new members to their party”, we have no chemistry, or something else.
All I know is, find a hobby that you really enjoy and practice active listening with random people. Means you can pick up similarities with likes / dislikes for people who you might gel with. The more you show interest in their life as well the more they’ll be interested in talking to you… At least that’s what they tell me 😅
You don’t need to spend the whole day with people or talk about the universe to connect on a deep level. You could talk about your favorite streaming app series over some coffee at Starbucks and it could be time well-spent with that person.
Ask yourself this question,
“Do I have a good relationship with myself?”
In other words, do you enjoy your own company or do you need others around you to distract you from yourself?
If you’re having troubles connecting with people, this might help –
[https://www.telklikehumans.com/](https://www.telklikehumans.com/)
It’s about scratching someone’s itch for a topic they care about.
We can make friends super fast if we just be curious with the person we talking. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Making talk them their childhood and make connection from that like I played the same game etc really helps too.
I’m not going to offer advice because you said this was to vent, and well, I don’t have anyway because I feel the same way. I hope knowing that you aren’t alone give some kind solace.