I’ll try to be as concise as possible – we matched (Bumble) about two months ago and texted nearly every day since we did, went on two dates about a month ago, and they both went well. Still text the same but the last few weeks the communication is becoming more staggered. I’m hyper aware of red flags and he genuinely seems like a nice guy, I don’t have any feeling like he’s interested in/seeing someone else, he’s said as much – unprompted, and he truly is very busy; lots of hobbies and obligations. I won’t go into detail with what they are in case he has reddit and stumbles on this, but he’s training for a marathon type thing which is taking up a lot of his time so I’m understanding of that, but it’s this weekend so I’m hoping we’ll have more time to hang out and get to know each other more afterwards.
Question is, I don’t want to give an ultimatum like “it’s me or the hobbies!!” as I’m well aware we’re in the very beginning stages of dating – I’m just thinking I should ask if it’s truly all his obligations/training getting in the way of us being able to spend time together, OR if he’s not really interested anymore. I don’t want him to think I’m trying to make him choose…. I just don’t want to waste my time 🤷🏻♀️ I’m just looking for some honest dialogue but I don’t want to scare him away. Any input is greatly appreciated! I’ll be posting this in /askmen as well so I can get as much feedback as possible. Thanks xx
2 comments
The way to voice it is “I’m feeling worried, can you help me feel secure?” Rather than “I think you like hobbies more than me.”
It’s about the emotion, not the hobbies, after all.
Also- ask if you can go running with him!
I am a very busy person, and recently met someone that I worry is thinking the same thing you are.
Dont worry, I’m not marathon guy.
But if I was, I would really want to hear what you were feeling on this matter. If anything, it will let him know that you are interested in a serious way.
Honestly, if the woman I met mentioned something like this to me, I would be 100% locked in. I wouldnt stop my obligations, but I would definately move them around.
It sounds like he is really into you, and you guys are at a natural point to make thing serious, might as well have that conversation.