My social battery tends to die fairly quickly (and suddenly). For the most part I’m outgoing, but I can quickly become tired and fall quiet. I’m sure to some it looks very hot to cold because of how sudden it is.
Usually I either just slip away or find an excuse to, but regardless of the group, I know people notice this and some don’t like that I do that. until recently I never cared whether people liked me or not because of it, but recently I’ve been thinking more about the importance of being able to develop interpersonal connections and would like to remain more consistent socially.
Would appreciate any tips to maintaining social battery/energy! is it a practice makes perfect kind of thing?
TYIA for any insight
4 comments
>is it a practice makes perfect kind of thing?
It absolutely is. I used to dip away form social situations early/not engage with people. I had to force myself to stay longer than I was comfortable with and to engage more than I was comfortable with. After a while, the act of socializing was far less draining that it was prior.
Socializing is a really important aspect of life and well… living in a society.
Take the lead and organise things on your own terms so they play to your strengths – board games rather than bar-hopping etc. Still push yourself to do bars and clubs, you build tolerance.
I love dance lessons. They’re sociable, involve quite a crowd, but you’re only interacting with one person at once so aren’t draining. Also you’re learning a new skill, so it works with the other aspects of my personality.
Make it a habit to go for walks etc so people know and expect it. Don’t be tempted to say that it’s claustrophobia or anxiety or anything that is a strong excuse, but makes you look damaged.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being honest about it. It’s much better to say “hey, I had a lovely time with you all, but I’m tired, I’ll say good night now, hopefully we’ll do this again soon” than insisting and sitting there quietly while everyone wonders what is wrong with you that you suddenly went quiet and now you’re ruining the mood for everyone.
People have different rhythms and styles, I’m sure they’ll understand.
I think it’s okay to go when you feel tired and everyone should respect that, but when you really wanna stay, I have some tips that work for me.
If you are staying at someone elses place, you can easily use the toilet for a few minutes, splash cold water in your face, maybe even get your earplugs and listen to the one song you really really love to get yourself in a good mood again.Nobody questions anything if you are away for five minutes.
And if you are with a group of people then you can go out, take a few breathes of fresh air and go in when you are ready again.
Drinking cold drinks, especially cold water, helps me to stay focused on the conversation and reduces my body heat which I get from the stress.
If you’re someone who feels better when they eat a bit of sugar just pocket yourself some candy. Which you can maybe even share and make yourself more friends!