Me(23f) and my husband (27m) have a 7 month old daughter. He works at night so regularly gets home at 3 am , goes straight to bed then sleeps through till the following afternoon. We used to have a routine (this routine was still quite a new concept as I’d said to him previous that if he didn’t step up I’d consider leaving him), this routine was where when he got in he’d get some food then go to bed an hour later and have 8 hours to get sleep (more than I get), he’s now started staying in bed for an extra 2 hours almost every day and on days off sleeps in for as long as he likes.
The issue I have is that I’m with OUR daughter 20-22 ish hours of a 24 hour period on my own, I’m frequently doing the night/ early morning feeds too because when he goes to feed her “ she’s not hungry” but 10 minutes later she’s woken up crying because she’s hungry. I wake up at what ever time she decides (she’s currently going through sleep regression) , I’m with her through most of the day then he’ll get up ,2 hours after he was supposed to with the same “erm I’m sorry , I fell back to sleep” sit on his PlayStation while ‘watching’ our baby while I run around trying to get everything done I hadn’t been able to earlier in the day. Then after 2 hours he’ll go and get ready for work and leave and I’ll be on my own again.
I understand obviously he needs to work ,of course he needs sleep and yes he should be able to catch up on sleep on his days off , I just can’t help but feel alone with this routine and also wonder ‘when do I get a day off to be able to catch up on sleep’ I’ve had so many conversations with him about how we can make it better for the both of us and he seems to have no interest in it.
What should I do?
2 comments
is he OK? I guess you can leave him if all he is doing is paying for you 3 to live, for you to stay home with your child and clean your home. You could get 50/50 custody and wouldn’t have to deal with him much and your child only part time. You would get some child support and he might have to pay a little more to help with daycare costs while you work, take care of your child and clean your own house. It sounds like neither of you are happy so maybe your leaving is the best idea.
Threatening to leave someone and not doing it, does not have the effect you may think.
Obviously since he works, he doesn’t feel obliged to do a lot of what you’re asking..
maybe he feels he is taking care of you and the baby..
So.. maybe .. Send her to daycare and get a job? You can gain some indépendance and figure out what you REALLY wanna do.