How effective is complimenting women your interested in as an approach before you ask them out a date?

27 comments

1. Don’t think things through too much. Don’t listen to pick up artists. Just have a conversation and don’t be afraid to compliment her.

   The key is to ask girls on a date that like you. Don’t waste your time with women you don’t have any chemistry with.

2. None of this is true. I compliment women all the time and have no trouble getting dates because of it.

3. Why wouldn’t you want to validate someone you’re interested in?

4. Oh dear, you have been watching weird alpha male youtube channels, haven’t you? Complimenting and or validation aren’t some sort of ritual to be performed before asking someone out, you just behave like a human being and breat her like a human being, too. Don’t get caught in these BS “dating tricks”

5. I believe in compliments about something they can control, not their physical appearance. Style, personality, intelligence, etc. Not face, body, etc.

   But how does a compliment “decrease your chances”? That’s some pick-up artist bullshit.

6. There is nothing wrong with complimenting a woman you’re interested in if its genuine. No need to manipulate a woman to get what you want from her. Try being honest and upfront. Women can appreciate a man that tries. Women love a man that can make us laugh, make us feel and think. It’s really not that complicated

7. I wouldn’t compliment a woman as an approach. It’s one of the worst things you can do in my option. The lady understands that she’s beautiful already. You and the other ten thousands other guy’s already told her this.

   There’s plenty of ways to approach a woman without gassing up her ego. There’s nothing wrong with giving a woman validation, you asking for her number is already doing that. You need more experience working on your social skills and stop watching videos online. You’re over thinking things too much.

8. I mostly compliment women before I go out with them, but it’s not *in order* to go out with them. I compliment a woman because I like something about her, *and* I ask a woman out because I like her. Because I tend to ask people out that I like, and I tend to compliment things about people I like.

9. A guy giving a woman a compliment as an opening line can be well received but, it can sometimes be generic which won’t set you apart from every other guy complimenting her. It can also make her feel as though she hold more value than you. Instead, you can make a comment or an observation about something she’s wearing, or create intrigue by saying something like ‘do you know what I find most interesting about your outfit’ etc. Women like to know what you think about them so she’ll feel like she has to respond, and this can open a conversation.

10. Most likely you are going to have at least a brief conversation with someone before you ask them out. Complimenting something (outfit, shoes, hair, jewelry) is a good place to start a conversation, because then you can ask or she can volunteer details. No idea what you mean with the “validating” stuff…………. Example: Was at the beach and this hot blonde had a phish tie die shirt on. Me “hey nice shirt.. have you seen them in concert?” Her “yeah, I have seen the at ______,_______,_______.” chit chat a bit….. Me “hey I have one rolled, you want to go smoke” Her “for sure”………… See how that works?

11. Oh boy, if you complimenting a woman decreases her chances of accepting a date from you, dont bother with her. Run away.

12. Stop thinking of women like games to be solved. It’s gross and it won’t work anyway, they will see right through it.

    Be an authentic human being. If you are a self-assured, confident person of character and value, women will be attracted to your personality.

    Then all the remains is your looks…

13. Just be an authentic person.

    If she’s the one, she will like you for who you are. Not because you found some cheat code.

    If you’re not that interesting, get a hobby or a passion. Confidence is a by product of achievement.

    Women aren’t a video game where you can get the desired outcome by mashing buttons in the right order.

14. No, if I’m not attracted to you you telling me that I have nice hair will not change that one bit.

15. You’re right on the money.

    Don’t compliment her first. It won’t work. Instead, be upfront and straightforwad. Just ask her out. Don’t validate her or compliment her.

16. From personal experience, when I stopped complimenting women, a lot more women started chasing me. Now I very rarely give a woman a compliment and even then only to a woman I’m already in a relationship with.

17. Sounds like you need more experience with simply talking to women in general.

18. Not very effective actually women get bombarded with compliments and attention. It’s best to be cool with your compliments. Or women can find you to needy.

19. You’re viewing this like a flow chart.

    “If I do X, Y, and Z in this order then she will want to date me”

    Women are complex, nuanced individuals just like you are. It’s a case by case basis. Most women (read: people) want to be with someone who is interesting and confident.

    I spent years convincing myself I was a “nice guy” and that all these women just went after jerks, but I eventually realized that I was boring as hell. Couldn’t hold a conversation, had nothing I was really passionate about. Who wants to date someone like that?

    You know what the real secret of all these “pickup artists” is? It isn’t some magic formula or series of buttons to press. It’s confidence. They use their confidence in a manipulative and negative way to try to trick women into finding them interesting, but it’s confidence nonetheless.

    Work on yourself, be passionate, and you won’t need to worry about these silly “should I compliment a girl” angles, you’ll just be able to roll with it.

20. Women will typically date based on the perceived value of the man. Compliments can be a way to subtly show interest to get the ball rolling…. But that isn’t why they will choose you. Most of the things women talk about wanting in a man aren’t even the things they are attracted to…. They are wishing out loud that the men they are attracted to would do those things also.

    Every woman I ever hit it off with was due to mutual interest and not effort on my part. We liked each other, we both subtly communicated with each other…. And it didn’t take long to stumble into a relationship. Neither one of us had to work very hard. We were attracted to the way each other was in our daily life.

21. Honestly ngl insulting them is better they’ll actually remember you. If she likes you sure go ahead

22. I got really high one time before work while working as a lab assistant in community college as a freshman, and while talking to this really beautiful girl about something that was a part of my responsibilities there came an awkward pause while waiting for something to print. So I saw this weird faded scar on her neck below her ear and absentmindedly pointed at it saying “I wonder what happened to you there?”. Apparently she had a conjoined twin on her when she was really young, and she proceeded to tell me this amazing story about how they found it and when it was removed. The whole time I’m making these disgusted faces while being super interested in hearing more and asking questions. Somehow we decided on meeting up again later that night and ultimately ended up hooked up, didn’t really last beyond a casual thing though.

    I gotta say that complimenting someone doesn’t work that good, what has always worked way better for me since then way point out something that’s a flaw or that can easily be pointed out without caring about the outcome of doing that. Getting a girl in that way also sets you apart in a way that is way more openly and realistic for a healthy relationship, so your interactions are honest and open when you talk together with her and she isn’t attention starved. You compliment a girl into a relationship and she’s going to expect that all the time, you talk openly, boldly, and bravely and the girl will know she’s got some work to do to get the affection she wants from you and it’s on your terms. Doesn’t work on all women, because a lot just crave that constant attention, but overall it’s worth doing for getting quality without much effort.

23. If you didn’t send a dick pic first, you did not greet her properly as a reddit user. SMH

24. I don’t want to assume anything, but I’m gonna go off my experience when I was younger. There was a point in time where I didn’t think of women as people but as women. Not in a negative sense like they were inferior, but just somehow didn’t seem to make the connection that they’re people too. Try to avoid this way of thinking if possible.

    End of the day theres no hard and fast rule for this sorta thing. Some women genuinely appreciate compliments, others get peppered with them so often it causes them to put walls up between you and them. Just start a conversation and do what you feel is natural. Just focus on getting to know them, don’t focus on wanting to date them.

    You’re gonna swing and miss a lot. A lot of times its gonna have nothing to do with you or your approach. Its because they’re into different types of men, or they’re not in a point where they want a relationship, or they’re interested in someone else, or maybe they have different expectations out of a relationship.

    Sometimes it’ll be your fault but not something you could have avoided. You gave a compliment when you shouldn’t have, complimented the wrong thing, your first meeting with them put them into a mindset of you being friend material but not dating material.

    The goal is to avoid it being your fault AND avoidable. Generally speaking, this is making lewd comments, sending wingding pics, being overly pushy etc.

25. Stop treating it like a game or a system that you have to figure out. Women are all different, and for the most part, all they want is for someone who is fun to be around, and who genuinely cares and is interested in them and what’s important to them. In other words, relax, have some confidence in your own person, and just treat people the way you’d want to be treated. And stay away from the pickup artist, alpha male bullshit.

26. Well… humans are social creatures with a huge ego. In general most people will be in a positive mood if you‘ve just complimented them and they‘re more likely to agree with you or have a positive opinion (since you just complimented and thus reassured them). Obviously that‘s not the case for everyone but in general: if it‘s a good compliment and the situation is appropriate complimenting someone can be beneficial. That‘s not only true for dating but for most social interactions.

27. Nothing wrong with that. Generally lead with some non-sexual if she seems into you use innuendo and eye contact to add the sexual component. Never go full sexual right off the bat.

    You want to connect and create chemistry