Sometimes I get the times where I become really crazy and impulsive. I often end up being really hypersexual with men and I hook up a lot. I just get into the mood where I want to follow whatever random urge I have. My birth mother had bipolar disorder, so I probably do too. But I don’t want to get a diagnosis because I feel like it will ruin my life.
But I know its dangerous, and I keep getting myself into potentially risky situations. Eg. Having sex with my abusive ex who threatened to kill me once; as well as hooking up with a man who was about 45 in his WHITE VAN. Likw that’s something you hear about in the news. Recently, after drinking a lot, I woke up in the woods with no memory of what happened.
I know I should stop but I can’t. And I usually regret it after. I’m not rly looking for advice because I know it’s probably my brain being messed up. I just wanted to rant.
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I would look at going to talk to someone, a therapist or psychologist
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I don’t really know, but I’m kinda old and have have access to a white van.
Funny…
I have quite the same condition (even the bipolar thing for which I’m under medication)
EXCEPT!
Well cuz of the cultural stuff and probably that I’m a guy…
I don’t have sex!!
I mean I’m constantly horny and that seriously bothers me, stops me from focusing, makes me edgy and bluh bluh…
But I don’t have sex… I already thought sex wouldn’t be the answer to my issue and your post just confirmed that…
Pls keep this post updated when you find some way to help yourself 🥲🥺
Take care and good luck…
Use your brain?
If your problem is that you find it dangerous, why not try more safe places. Like sex/swingers clubs. They are completely safe and you can easily find someone to hook up with without attachment.
EDIT: Oh, and if you think you have a diagnose, then get diagnosed!! It will only make your life easier knowing what you have to deal with. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away!
You need to be properly diagnosed first. Find out of you have bipolar disorder and see if it needs to be medicated.
Secondly, I would get a few safe outlets for these occurrences. Find a couple of good FWBs that will indulge you, but also keep you safe. Make sure they have good availability so you’re not looking for other options if they aren’t around. And contact them early, before you start drinking. Make sure they and you are tested frequently (3-4 times a year).
You need to put some basic boundaries around your behavior to keep yourself safe. You’re probably not going to stop being bipolar or hypersexual, so plan ahead to make sure you don’t put yourself in too much risk.
Can’t you masturbate? Thats what I do to keep me in check
Hey. I’d literally been through the same journey this summer, put myself in all sorts of objectively dangerous situations with men I barely knew, also ended up one night waking up on the ground among some sort of bushes under the pouring rain completely disoriented, with all my stuff stolen, which is a whole other story, and I still have no memory of what had actually happened. Anyway, two to three months after an awful depressive episode, that I slipped into a bit later after that incident, I got diagnosed with a bipolar disorder 🙂 now I’m on medication, the hypersexuality part has gone away pretty much, I have no urge whatsoever to go hook up with someone spontaneously or make questionable friends and so on. I don’t know if this helps you out in any way, but you should know that you’re not alone in this and there’s a way out of that vicious cycle.
You might find r/hypersexual to be really helpful.
Being hypersexual is something people have to deal with. Talking about it and hearing what other people who experienced this can add value and help to come up with a solution.
The problem is NOT that you’re bi-polar or hypersexual. The problem IS that you don’t have a method to cope with it.
The best method is finding a safe way to having sex in the frequency that you like. Having multiple FWB can help the situation to help you cope with your desires in a safe way.
Also having a Bf who himself can provide a lot of sex to you, and isn’t afraid to share you with other men in a safe controlled environment
I’ll talk with you. Went through a bunch of the same things myself. I still get hypersexual and need safe ways to ease the pressure.
I let my freak flag fly and try and take care of the urges in any way possible whilst also being safe.
You have whatever condition you have, already. Your life is already in the state it is, no judgment from me. A diagnosis can help you make sense of what’s going on. You aren’t required to tell people. Also you ask how to cope with it but don’t want advice, so I’m just gonna say that much above, and wish the best for you. I know how scary it can be to feel like a slave to your brain. It doesn’t have to stay like this.
Diagnosis won’t ruin your life but the untreated underlying disorder might.
The risks I took got me a kid and a dead bedroom marriage. The only thing preventing me from still having that lifestyle is how it would affect my kid, and trying to uphold my martial vows.
I am diagnosed and treated for bipolar disorder. It didn’t ruin my life, but rather everything made more sense and I am so thankful to be medicated.
With that said, I also become hyper sexual and I have to be extremely mindful when I don’t have a committed partner, otherwise I can become more reckless. Please seek medical advice.
OP I’m bipolar and please please please take care of your mental disorder (if you suspect you have one, which hyper sexuality is an indicator of). I thought I would lose something about myself if I went on meds so I pushed it off which ironically caused me to lose a lot more. Your meds will only add to your quality of life.
This sounds like my ex wife, she has bipolar 1. Anyways she also has serious impulse control issues. She cheated on me multiple times, with no remorse, and was a closeted alcoholic. Now she’s cheating on her new husband and has gotten into meth.
You definitely should go get diagnosed, probably go to therapy, and take medication. Because this lifestyle of yours isn’t sustainable.
Hypersexual guy here.
I’ve been doing all kinds of sex-crazed stuff since I was 14; I’m almost 30 now.
One option is to join Sexaholics Anonymous.
A safe outlet for people whom are suffering sex addiction.
Do note that the only requirement for membership is to not have sex until marriage; which was the sole reason I quit those meetings.
However, those meetings, a neutral place to vent your most depraved acts, did help me get rid of alot of shame.
Other people testified they managed to overcome their hypersexuality by stickin to the 12 steps and the program.
It was also funny since I felt like a rookie compared to the heavy cases in there.
Try it out, see if it works.
For now I’m just at peace with my hypersexuality.
I do act out alot from time to time but I’m managing my emotions (the main reason I tried escaping through sex) way better now.
Venting helps;
understanding why you chase sex so much helps; psychotherapy helps;
honesty helps.
I’m using this as a way too build myself up now, instead of tearing myself down.
And the better you feel about yourself, the less the urge to continually escape through sex.
Best of luck!
Don’t be afraid to go talk to a therapist. My father has bipolar. I don’t. It actually usually skips a generation. But being raised by somebody with bipolar definitely messes with you. You learn a lot of similar behaviors and may act a lot like them even though you don’t have it. Just know there is nothing “wrong” with you. And even if you do have it, it’s probably better to know so you can manage it effectively and live a happy life.
Find a fwb and also masturbate, be careful who you are meeting up with
If your mom has bipolar disorder you’re more likely to have it.
Here’s the good news. If you treat bipolar disorder BEFORE you have a serious manic or depressive episode the outcomes are better.
If you wait for a serious episode to come (and it will), that’s when you’re going to start having actual issues. It won’t ruin your life, the only thing that can do that is refusing treatment, but waiting is not always advised.
If you get a doctor now, there are chances you’ll be able to manage this with minimal to no medication at all, but if you wait, that’s going to be a tougher thing to make happen. You’ll also get expert tips (not amateur ones) as to coping with the hypersexuality as a bonus.
You say getting a diagnosis would ruin your life, yet you’re literally risking your life to have sex. Sounds to me like the lifestyle you’re choosing is ruining your life and coming close to *ending* it and that the diagnosis is the safer option.
Obviously, you need to seek treatment and get a diagnosis to deal with whatever is going on in your head. THAT is how you cope.
If you need coping strategies in the meantime, the advice I’d give would be to make some regular hookups – be they (safe) exes or people you meet (regularly) for sex and nothing more. I’m not hypersexual, but I used to have a “stable” of five or six guys I’d hook up with regularly. Some were exes, some just fuckbuddies, but they were people I trusted and could be myself without judgement, and it saved me from constantly trying to find new hookups.
Not getting help as a diagnosed bpd person is more dangerous than getting diagnosed
You just gotta deal. I’ve learned to just jerk it when I have a bad uncontrollable need and then ignore it when I don’t have such a bad need
You definitely need to get officially diagnosed. I know it can be scary, but that is the first step in figuring out who you are, why, and how to cope. The point of diagnosis’ is to make accommodations and coping mechanisms more accessible.
Get help.
Diagnosis, medicine the whole deal.
Get help through therapy and medication or end up dead. That’s it. Those are your options. Enough with the I don’t want advice, I just want to rant chant. Using the word ‘how’ indicates that you’re asking a question. If you weren’t bothered or concerned about your well-being you won’t be on the internet telling strangers about it.
I’d really advise you to get diagnosed, or at least find a good psychiatrist. A diagnosis won’t ruin your life, if you find a good psychiatrist. I don’t have bipolar myself, but I’ve worked with people who do. Most of them are grateful to be medicated because the medication helps keep their symptoms in check. You realize that your actions could have dangerous consequences: listen to your gut and get the help you deserve.
Look forward to watching your Dateline 20/20 episode…. sounds fucked up right? Thats how this ends. Get your shit together and get help.
> But I don’t want to get a diagnosis because I feel like it will ruin my life.
It sounds like not having a diagnosis (and thus not having any kind of effective treatment or coping mechanism) is already ruining your life and may even be a risk to your life itself. I promise you a diagnosis of bipolar (or whatever condition you may or may not have) is not as bad as you’re fearing it will be, you’re already living with it regardless of whether or not you have a name for it, all that can come from talking to a professional is finding better coping mechanisms.
May I ask, what are you afraid of happening if you do have a diagnosis?
A diagnosis won’t ruin your life. Rather, it will give you the information you need on how to move forward. Nobody can make you take medication, but knowing what you’re dealing with will mean you can be informed on what steps to take to manage it.
At the moment you’re putting yourself in danger, and I think you realise you need to make some changes to your behaviour. Try not to think of a diagnosis as a death sentence. It’s just something that will inform how you choose to keep yourself out of harm’s way.
For the longest time I thought I was hypersexual, i made some really dumb and bad choices because of it.
Turns out I have borderline personality disorder. I’ve been in therapy for a year now and it’s made so much difference. I don’t feel the urge to hook up with people I don’t really wanna hook up with.
Not getting diagnosed and treated will probably ruin your life more than getting diagnosed.
I wish you all the best, whatever you might decide to do. I’m here if you want to vent, I know what it feels like