One of my coworkers(22M)from my(19f) past job suggested meeting for coffee sometime. We worked there together for 6 months, and I haven’t seen him since working. During my time there I went to see a movie with him (we worked at a movie theatre) but I paid for myself and it felt pretty platonic. However, being asked to hang out a second time does make me think he’s interested in some way. Unfortunately if this is the case, I don’t feel the same. I enjoy him as a friend and so I would like to see him but I do not want to make things uncomfortable by assuming it’s a date. On the other hand, I also do not want to accidentally end up going on a date, and leading him on. I don’t think there is a very comfortable way to essentially say “are you asking me on a date? Because I don’t like you but we can be friends”. Either it wasn’t not intended as a date, or it was and their feelings are hurt. I am not really sure how to respond to the invitation .
TLDR: ex coworker asked me for coffee. I don’t want to assume he’s asking me on a date in case he wasn’t, but don’t want to agree to the invitation and lead him on. I do not know how to respond appropriately.
2 comments
Do you enjoy hanging out with him as a friend. If not, you’ve got two reasons to say “no”. To avoid leading him on *and* because you won’t enjoy it.
If you do wanna hang out, you could just go. It’s on him if he hasn’t made his intentions clear. Or you could do some clarifying of your own. “It’s nice having a friend to see movies with sometimes.”
If you do like him as a friend then you could accept the invite in a non-flirty way, like “oh yeah, it would be great to catch up.”
Do you think he is interested in you romantically or are you just assuming he might be because he suggested getting a coffee?
If he is interested in you romantically and he’s not making that clear by calling the coffee a date, you aren’t leading him on, so don’t worry about that part.
I wouldn’t assume it was an attempted date or ask, just because I did that once when I thought I was getting a flirty vibe and then the guy acted like I was being outrageously full of myself to assume it was a date request lol