Do you ask before kissing a girl/guy? Why/why not?

39 comments

  1. 1st time? I always ask. I used to not but I have learned so much good stuff about consent. Some people do find it a turn off but those people are probably not right for me anyway.

  2. I ask. It has never killed the mood, and only rarely have I misread the situation enough that the answer was no (in fact, only once that I can think of), but if I avoided making that one person uncomfortable, then it was worth asking. If she leans in first, I’ll go for it.

  3. I’ve not kissed anyone in a long time, but I think you just have to read the situation. Spontaneity can be the spice of life, probably worth the risk to be fair. It’s only a kiss.

  4. No because I don’t kiss anyone.

    Oh, you meant should you? Depends on whether you both just get it or not. If you’re looking at them and you can tell they want you to do something or wouldn’t mind if you moved your face closer to theirs, then do it. If they don’t pull back or if they move in closer too, then you have the green light.

    Asking to kiss when they aren’t giving any indication of wanting to is probably going to end up awkwardly.

  6. If you have to ask, it’s probably a no.

    That or she’s a crazy feminist who is going to yell at you for assaulting her because you didn’t get permission first.

  8. No, I would usually approach them like 80% of the way. If they want to, they will lean forward 20% or else I step back and pretend nothing happened before crying in the shower at my loneliness.

  9. If you have to ask, the answer is likely “no”

    So stupid, consent has gone too far. Soon we will be asking permission to wave at each other 🙄

  11. After a first date for a first kiss I will typically either ask or say “I want to kiss you”. It’s always been well received.

  13. I ask if I feel like she’d be up for it but I can’t lead up to it naturally for some reason.

  14. No. Just make eye contact and move in. The women I’ve been with like it when men are confident and go for what they want. Asking ruins it. If she’s not into it she will pull away or turn her head as long as you’re not sneak attacking or moving at the speed of light.

  15. To be honest, if you’re hot and you ask… It’s great and respectful. If you’re not and you ask… It’s low self esteem and creepy.

    I’d highly recommend that you slowly escalate that touch… Maybe even try holding her hands, deep hugs, and kissing her hand before going in for the cheek/ forehead/ lips type kiss.

    One time a guy suddenly tried to kiss me after a single coffee date without doing anything touch escalation in the entire date… and at the end he jammed his tongue into my face… I remember backing off and almost running away from him cause it was the most awkward and uncomfortable interaction. I can’t remember if I actually physically backed away but I’m certain there was fear in my eyes. Would not recommend that. Make your intentions clear if not through words, at least through slow escalated actions

  16. You can ask with your expression and body language. Don’t just fly in for the kiss, but slowly lean in and see if she reciprocates

  17. Nah usually they ask me on date five why I haven’t kissed them yet and I do it then

  18. I always ask for the first time just say “Hey would it be alright if I kissed you?” Its always been recieved well expect for one odd ball. I do it so I know for sure she is into me and I have consent cant read minds so I need that confirmation

  19. Personally never had, never been rejected and quite frankly wouldn’t care if I did.

  20. No fee I just make my intentions chest and give her time to evade in case I misread.

  21. I normally just go in. I’ve typically built up enough sexual tension to not have to ask.

  22. If you are within 15cm from my face and been there for more then 5 seconds then I’m kissing you. Doesn’t matter whether you are romantically interested in me or a UFC fighter trying to intimidate me during a weigh-in.

    Basically, get in my face and you are getting a kiss.

  23. No. I look for social clues. If she looks like she wants it I go in 90% and wait for her to reciprocate with the last 10% or show her rejection.

  24. I didn’t ask I just went for it. He can’t just ask me to be his best man and expect nothing to happen.

  27. coming close, and lightly cupping her cheek will tell you all you need to know about whether she’s down for a kiss.

  29. Asking “can I kiss you?” Directly can ruin a moment for the girl, if she’s in a “take me I’m yours mood”

    If I’m not positive about going for it, I’d just go with “I’d like to kiss you” or more typically for me something along the lines of “I’d like to bite your lip” girls typically loooove that and it’s basically asking if you can kiss her without making it a question

  30. I had a few girls say “if you have to ask, the answer is no”

    That said, you have to pick the moment, be socially calibrated and considerate of safety, comfort and not overstep the masculine initiative to get that kiss at the right time.

  31. No. In my experience it’s always been abundantly clear when it’s welcome. I suppose that takes a little bit of emotional intelligence.

    Though I never just go in for a kiss. If there’s good eye contact and smiling, I’ll start with hand holding. Then maybe cuddling. Kiss on the cheek. And if all that is well-received, *then* go in for the kiss. By that point, you don’t need to throw yourself at them. A little bit of forward motion and it happens all by itself.

  33. No. The last girl I kissed went down like this:

    1. I asked for a kiss pointing at my cheek. Received it.

    2 “Okay, my turn to kiss you” and then her tongue was in my mouth.

    It was a really cute moment.

  34. Yes, if it’s the first time with someone. Want to make sure the enthusiasm/attraction is matched, and it’s never been received poorly for me.

  39. It depends of situation
    If you are so close physically and mental, you of course can do it without asking but if you doubt about it, you should ask

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