I(24F) have been with this person(30M) since July. So far he seems like a good guy and there are many qualities about him that I like.
Well, a few weekends ago I see on his instagram story he is out on the boat with friends, and there is a girl there with one of his shirts on. About a week later I was at his place and ended up seeing open condoms in his drawer. All I know is they weren’t open 4-5 months ago. I asked him, and he said when he was out of town for work the previous week his friends/roommate would take girls home etc.
No I am not stupid and think there’s a 1% chance this is true. However, his roommate and friends do party and act stupid, and they have a really nice place on the ocean in Miami, so of course they bring girls there after a night out. I am a very trusting person and actually the same thing happened to me once when I was a freshman in college. A friend visiting from out of town brought a guy back and my ex found an open condom wrapper.
Nonetheless I know his story is probably BS and it was the girl from the boat. I decided to trust him however I’m not getting over it. Should I just assume he cheated? I have wanted to politely dm this girl asking if it was a platonic situation but I don’t want to embarass myself or be immature. The slight chance he is being honest, I don’t want to lose one of the few (seemingly) nice guys I have met. Or should I just trust him and keep my eyes open?
If I were to message her I would tell him beforehand and have a conversation, because I’m sure he would hear it from her anyways. I’m sure his reaction would be telling in itself, I just don’t want to embarass myself.
Please help
3 comments
Info, did he tag the girl in the story? Are you exclusive, did you have the talk?
Yes, it is fine to be insecure sometimes. It is inevitable, you love him, so if he acts in a way that suggest he might be cheating it’s obvious it will make anxious. Have conversation with him. If he makes you feel stupid for this that is in itself a red flag. Your feelings are valid and your boyfriend should really want to make sure you trust him and care about your insecurities. Do not assume the worst, but well, if he doesn’t put out your doubts completely you might want to reach out to this girl anyway.
I would suggest keeping an eye out.
If you get the chance, try counting the condoms and then periodically check to see if the numbers dwindle.
Also, have you seen him wear that shirt since the picture was posted?