TL;DR: I went on a date with a guy, but I don’t know if I am ready to date and I don’t want to waste his time. Should I stick it out and take it slow and hope the feelings pass or just give up now?
My ex-boyfriend of 2.5 years and I (F30) broke up a little under 7 months ago. I have been working on myself. I workout daily, joined a sports team, and I see a counselor. I thought I was over him and making progress.
I haven’t been dating until recently. An old friend from high school reached out to me and I went on a date with him that went really well.
However, a few days ago I learned from one of my mutual friends that my ex didn’t break up with me to focus on his sobriety but because he had feelings for another woman who he immediately moved in with. I know that time has passed but learning this makes me sick to my stomach and I just don’t feel ready to open up to another person. This has reawakened the pain from the break up and I have been crying for the past two days. I feel used and broken.
I would like to go on another date with the new guy but I feel like it is disingenuous to be dating knowing that I am so emotionally broken. I have told him that I would like to take things slow and form a friendship before dating. He is okay with this. Should I tell him about the situation with my ex and try and take things slow or should I bow out now to not waste his time? I truly did feel ready to date before this happened.
I appreciate your time and advice.
1 comment
If you genuinely want to go on another date with this guy then do it. You’ve told him you want to take things slow so you’ve already given him the information he needs to be able to make his own mind up.
If you want to tell him about your ex, that’s up to you. If he’s a decent guy and he’s not in any rush then he’ll probably not see it as an issue. It doesn’t sound to me like you’re ‘hung up’ on your ex but rather you were dealt a blow and are processing it. That’s completely normal in my book, I’m sure he’ll see it that way to.
You are, however, under no obligation to tell him anything. He’s already fine with taking things slowly.
It sounds to me like you’re still interested in seeing where things can go with this guy, so I don’t see how you are wasting his time.