Im a dude 31 y/o who has lifelong premature ejaculation and erectile disfunction (because of the PE). I have to take a pill to get better erections and another pill to not ejaculate in 3 seconds. I’m decent looking, athletic, have a nice job, member size normal etc etc. I notice I attract girls but I’m really insecure because of my condition, so I never make a move.
My question is this…. Do you girls recommend I just come clean in the beginning of dating ( if we have chemistry ) and say I have those conditions but when I take the pills I’m all good to satisfy her. Or should I keep hiding it.
I’m kind of ashamed to confess it, but I’m also tired of having I hide it and take the pills behind the girls back.
Be honest, would you freak out or laugh or tell your friends. Or is it not a big deal. Thank you !
8 comments
If it’s something you have to take in the heat of the moment I’d definitely just be open about it. Having to hide it is only going to cause anxiety and that’s no fun in the bedroom. Any woman who has a problem with it doesn’t need to ride that ride. Like who freaks out or laughs at someone because of the medicine they need to take to function satisfactorily? Pfft – next!
Definitely discuss it before sex at some point. But I don’t think it’s something you should mention on the first date or something
this sucks but some women might laugh at you or judge you for it. the best anyone can do is just move on; they’re obviously immature and you wouldn’t want to date them anyway. but hiding it also hides whether or not the person you’re with is understanding and empathetic or judgmental and sophomoric
I know it’ll take a lot of courage for you to bring it up, but just imagine how amazing you’ll feel if you bring it up and the woman you’re with comforts you and even becomes more attracted to you for it. people think confidence is “asking women out”. it is, but real confidence and courage is talking about your biggest insecurities and not being fearful of what the other person might think
I wouldn’t freak out if a guy told me. I would probably want to know ahead of time though…like not in that exact moment. But just explain you have a condition and everything’s fine but you have to take pills sometimes beforehand.
Oh, the girls that would tell their friends in a mocking way would just be the hookup type people that don’t actually care about you. If you’re talking about women you’re dating normally, then you have nothing to worry about.
I just got out of a relationship with someone who had ED (not why we broke up). He was very open about once we both knew sex was on the table. I really appreciated it because sometimes women can feel like it’s our fault if a guy has performance issues and hearing about it in the heat of the moment can make it feel like an excuse to make us feel better, rather than the truth. The first time we had an issue, I knew right away it had nothing to do with me and it was easy to have that discussion in the moment and then move on with things.
I’d say bring it before things get heated but after you know sex is something you’re both interested in.
(Guy here) What pills do you take if you don’t mind me asking for a friend?
Definertly open up about it once you know you’re at a stage to be intimate. I really wouldn’t find it a big deal I would rather know about it so we could both work with it. One of the biggest things about sex is communication especially good sex!
If any girl does make you feel like it is a big deal or freaks out then she is not the one for you or extremely immature!
Come clean the moment you start discussing things of a sexual nature. Or the possibility of the relationship turning sexual.
I would be so happy to meet a guy who was proactively addressing his ED (or any other sexual issue) because you have no idea how many guys aren’t doing shit about ED. I’m just expected to be cool with it and never mention it. ED makes women just as insecure as it makes you and if you were seeing me, said hey I take these pills to address these issues, I’d be 100% cool with it. PIV is whatever to me and I’m more interested in activity that doesn’t involve the penis anyhow.