What’s the fastest way to calm a lady?

25 comments

1. Ask if they are on their rag…

   (I am so sorry)

2. “Calm down”

3. Tiddy twister

4. “Have you tried not being sad?”

5. Inhaled anesthetic seems like a good plan

6. The 1950’s solution…. Valium and alcohol

7. Laugh

8. Taser works every time

9. Did I give you permission to speak?

10. Tell her she’s fat

11. leave the room and watch tv

12. Try “calm down, you’re overreacting.” That one always works 😂.

    Seriously though, listen intently and then paraphrase what they’ve said back to them. Google “mirroring” for more info.

13. Tell her to stop being so emotional

14. Tell her to “tone it down”

15. Tell her it’s just in her head. And ask if she’s tried working out to get rid of that energy

16. I find this works:

    *”Jeez, calm down, you’re just like your mother when you get on your period”.*

    …

    ​

    On a totally different note, I’ve been to the hospital for head trauma multiple times. I can’t remember if these two things are related….

17. Ignore everything else and stare intensely at her boobs for the rest of the conversation.

18. Walk away

19. My spouse tells me to calm my tits – we’re making fun of an awful dude we had to work with – complete chauvinist & prick.

    It makes me laugh when she says it to me.

    When she’s worked up about something, I usually look at her calmly and say, “Calmer than you are. Calmer than you are dude …” like Walter from the Big Lebowski. She laughs and then we work the problem and calm is restored.

20. Just smile and wave boys

21. “You are acting like your mother”

22. Vibrator,

23. Start quoting Andrew Tate

24. “You know what keeps going through my head? Where’s my sandwich?” – Iron Man 3

25. “Tone it down toots”