Let’s say you’re in the early stages of dating multiple guys. Like 1st-3rd date status. One guy strikes convo and asks what you’re up to Friday night… and that’s when you happen to be going on a date with someone else.
I understand the whole, “you don’t owe him anything” and “you don’t need to tell him,” but also, when you say you’re going out to dinner and they ask with who, wtf do you say? A friend?… And if they ask more detail?
I get that it’s weird to even get into the detail, but it seems to be a common question. I want to know how to go about this without sounding secretive or being a dick.
29 comments
Tell him going to dinner and if he asks with who then just tell him the truth. It’s dating and we all cast a wide net in the beginning.
Just tell the truth. If they keep prying for more answers, how they handle the Information is on them
Well if you’re on a date with someone else then you’re obviously not that interested in the other person. So if you’re dating multiple people and leading them on to believe that they all have a chance, you’re an AH. Just be honest instead.
You are for the streets OP
Or you don’t respond at all because you are on a date and want to respect the person you are with. You can respond later.
Just tell the truth, if he reacts poorly then you know he isn’t for you, any sound minded adult wouldn’t care.
“I have plans” there’s no need to explain further.
Ooooffff that sounds like a belly full of bad berries.
Be careful of what you choose to feed in this world, a stigmatised version of a fish is that it never stops swimming alas always gets caught!!!! If you feel it is wrong then that’s the inner you already knowing and you are choosing to feed into something that’s making you feel uneasy.
Take care
Telling the truth you being a ho
This early, I’d see it as okay, not everyone has a superpower to know after the first date to know if things will work. As long as the goal is to sort people out in a decent timeframe instead of leading them on.
I mean guys, if you’re not with her on a Friday/Saturday night…someone on else is. Move on
Just be all like “yo I’m about to get my guts rearranged” you got this fam ✌🏻
Little bit of advice, if you need advice or can’t manage communication with dating multiple people, then you shouldn’t be doing it.
The fact that you’re dating multiple people should be made clear early on and so is intentions and expectations. Sure you don’t owe anything to anyone, but you’re setting yourself up for failure immediately when you’re not ready to handle this from the beginning.
Why use dating in the title if you aren’t?
Dating would me your mutually exclusive. Not seeing multiple people.
If feel weird telling him the truth, you might reconsider if its really the right thing for you to date multiple guys. If that is fine for you, dont bother telling him the truth and see how he reacts. You might be not having the problem of dating multiple guys from that moment on 😀
Just say you’re going out to dinner. Every guy knows what a woman is doing 90% of the time if she has plans on a Friday night. I would assume he isn’t stupid.
Be truthful. If the guy is like some of us and only dates one person at a time, this is his chance to walk away knowing that you don’t value dating/sex the same way he does.
If you did really like him you wouldn’t be on a date with another man so I think it’s tell tale sign of what is to come anyway
You tell him the truth.
I say either saying “I have plans” or if you feel like being Honest Abe about it 😂😂😂 tell them you’re going on a date. Really depends on if you want to play mind games.
Should’ve let him know from the start – If you withhold the info and they you two get serious, he might find out one day you were seeing other people at the same time when he might’ve thought you two were exclusive
Tell them the truth.
I don’t understand how playing and using people is so normalized.
They pay effort, time and money – least you could do is respect a guy enough to tell him you are dating others while dating him.
Maybe they wouldn’t date you if they knew, but now they don’t even know about it and doesn’t have a choice, but be played and used by you.
“I am dating multiple guys at once and I don’t want to tell any of them that – so they keep taking me on dates” that’s little evil.
I would simply respond when I got home with “Hey. Was put to dinner with a friend. Let’s catch up tomorrow. Have a great night !” There’s no need to immediately respond to anyone. You’re still responding.
No one is entitled to you, your time or your personal business.
If you said you’re out for dinner already, simply say a friend, which you are. If they push for more who/where/when etc; What’s this the Spanish Inquisiton, lol you don’t know them. Which they don’t.
Move onto another topic.
You’re exercising boundaries at this point and learning about the people your dating.
You don’t have to lie ofc if you haven’t said anything yet, you can simply wait until your dates over keep your usual energy with them in messages if they ask about your evening and say you’ve been out/busy. Ask the question back or some other chat.
If they’re very pushy about details after your “boundaries” text, one or two clarifiers is acceptable but loads fussing over your lack of detail is a red flag and shows at minimum trust issues and entitlement.
You’re dating they don’t own you.
Personally I can’t do that, I meet one person I have a date with and see where it goes. No judgement on anyone else, we are all different. If I had a couple of really good dates with someone then I hear they are dating someone else too I just walk away. I would hope I was interesting enough after a few good dates to focus on but if not no hard feelings, I move on.
So many people here assuming that having Friday night plans = on a date. I could have any number of plans other than a date on a Friday, e.g. gym, travelling, meeting friends, work event, hanging with family, etc.
Just say you’re already busy but at least offer an alternative option. If he asks you what you’re up to, you can just say “meeting a friend for dinner” or something – up to you to divulge further if he presses.
Honestly if I was the guy then I would like to know that you were seeing other people, it just lets me know how much energy I should be putting into us dating.
This kinda thing is dangerous in the Bahamas.
If you ain’t into the guy then don’t date him.
I hate men and women who date multiple people at the same time. And the “but muh exclusivity talks” crowd are nasty too.
Either date and drop one person at a time for be honest and upfront and tell them you fucking multiple at the same time so they can drop your ass.
What’s wrong with dating one person at a time?
Tell the truth. Otherwise it’s like, “I’ll go on dates with other people but won’t tell you so that you can take me on dates too”. IF you lie or withhold information, that’s h@e behaviour.
Off course you don’t owe him commitment but he should know that you’re going on dates with other people so he can decide if he wants to go on date with you.