So, I’m seeing this guy. I’m madly in love with him and I want to give him everything in bed. Thing is that he doesn’t really care about blow jobs and said he’s just indifferent and I should just skip it. Which is fine. In theory the only reason it’s fun for me if that he’s really enjoying it, so if he’s not that into it, then there’s no point. Only thing is he’s the first guy who I’ve ever really enjoyed sucking his sick. Like im so crazy about him and I feel so safe with him that I just want to give him everything and I love doing anything that’s a service to him and for some reason it makes me sad that I can’t blow his mind by blowing his dick.
I’ve also never wanted/liked anal, but a part of me wants to do it for him in some like bonding thing. Like it would be hot to me as a gesture that I’d never do this for anyone else. But again, he’s just not into it one way or another. I think I just want to give him something really special in bed that I’ve never been comfortable or willing to give to anyone else. He just happens to be really straight forward in his preferences in bed.
I don’t really know what to do. I guess I should just let it go, it’s just weird that I want to do these things that are only for him but he doesn’t really want them so why do I want to do them “for”
Him?
8 comments
It’s not weird; you want to because you love him and you want to connect and bond intimately. But he has made his preferences really clear so it comes down to you being able to accept it or not. Kind of a shame that he’s not into it..have you expressed your deep desire to do this with him? Maybe if you have a gentle conversation would it be possible he could be open to it?
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Is this the one whose married per your other posts? Probably why he’s not interested in more. 🤣🤡
My best advice to you with recieving anal; as a man who regularly receives inhuman sized dildos anally from my wife (pegging), and has for over 20 years, is to start solo, startsmall, and start slow. DO NOT RUSH YOURSELF.
1) Find a small body safe toy. Platinum silicone is the best. Start with something that has a diameter about the size of a finger. A butt plug that you can insert and will stay in place is best to start.
2) and I can not stress this enough, quality Lube, and lots of it! X/J Lube is a great option, because you buy it as a powder, mix it with distilled water, and a little money buys you a very large quantity of Lube, and it’s safe for silicone toys. You can make it exactly the consistency you need, which only you can find out for yourself what works.
3) Pace yourself. Start by slowly inserting your toy, and don’t be discouraged if you just can’t do it the first, second, third, *nth*, time. Focus instead on the sensation. Is the discomfort gradually subsiding with each attempt? Are you getting a little closer to your goal each time?
4) Once you can get your toy fully inserted, don’t try to go full porn star. Just relax and leave it in place. If you can do this with no or tolerable discomfort, try masturbating and bringing yourself to orgasm. This builds a mental association with the anal stimulation and a pleasure you’re genetically programmed to seek.
5) Once you can get to a point where you can fully insert your toy without any significant discomfort or effort, try to repeatedly withdraw it and insert it. Apply step 4 while doing so when you’re.
6) Start to incrementally increase the size of your toy slightly and repeat the same process again from the beginning. Once you get to something as big or perhaps slightly larger than your BF, and you can vigorously penetrate yourself with such a toy for any length of time without the need to stop due to discomfort, you’re ready. That being said, he needs to understand that he still needs to be gentle with you. You’re probably going to be tense when it’s time for the real thing, and he needs to be okay with the fact that you may nor be able to complete the act the first, second, third, *nth* time. Eventually, if you want it to happen, your body and mind will get comfortable with this, but the key is pace and control, and you’re the best person to set those limits. This process might take a month, or it might take a year. There’s no way to know how your body and mind will react until you find out for yourself.
Best of luck on your journey.
You’re not unusual for wanting these things in bed. Sucking his dick and offering my ass is one of the unique, primal human pleasures I give him as his wife. No one else on the planet provides him that outlet, and it makes me feel empowered.
If you two have discussed it, and he’s a firm no, you might not be sexual compatible. I can tell you though, a majority of men would be delighted at your open mindedness.
It’s not weird that you want that! Sex with a partner is full of compromise, and this is one area that you may need to compromise. You like something, he doesn’t, so you don’t do it. If it’s a big issue that will lead to hurt feelings and resentment, you need to seriously think about the longevity of your relationships.
Also, have you communicated all of this to him? You mentioned that he said he was indifferent but didn’t give any more details about the conversation. I think it’s worth telling him why you want to do them, and actively listening to how he feels about it. He will likely not change his answer, and you shouldn’t go into the conversation hoping or thinking he will, but you can both at least be on the same page and better understand each other.
Wish you both the best!
The question here it’s if he understand why this couple of things are so important to you, and how he recive them.
I mean it’s like when anyone else give you something and say “I’m sorry it’s not my cup of tea” naah you say hey wow amazing let’s try it, you got it girl?
Got to be honest with you on long term, you will need a cock in your mouth and butt, so are you ok to deny yourself that pleasure? It’s necesary to give up what you like/ need in bed? Is he agree to give up things like you are willing to do? Will that “sacrifice” after all makes both of you full happily ever after????
Lmao I am exactly like your bf, chances are piv is “special” to him. My gf offered me the same things, and was in shock when I said absolutely not to butt sex. And that BJ’s aren’t my favorite