So, we’ve been dating almost two years. He told me I have to fill out some forms in the morning. I asked for what? He says firearm permit stuff. I say I’m not comfortable buying a gun. Then he gets upset and says well then he can’t have a gun to go hunting with his kids. I said again I’m sorry but I don’t want a gun. He threw his phone and sulked still mad he can’t get a gun for a couple more years and he can’t take his kids hunting because I won’t fill out the license stuff. I tell him it’s not my fault and he sulks more. Im definitely not filling out any forms to get someone else who is unlicensed a gun :/ advice for how to handle this argument in the future? I have a lot of anxiety about arguments and the tone and actions he does while he talk make them harder. I don’t feel like I’m rational saying no to all the things I do but he expects me to do a lot.

38 comments
  1. > I have a lot of anxiety about arguments and the tone and actions he does while he talk

    No wonder, I’d be anxious too if when someone didn’t get their way they got angry and threw things. Just fyi, people that throw shit around you, sooner or later they often start throwing shit at you. Add to that he wants a gun, but expects you to buy it? Yikes! Why can’t he buy it himself?

  2. What happens when there’s an accident and they trace it back to you. If he can’t be liable for whatever reason, then he has to figure out how to fix it or just accept it’s a not.

    Ps. Men that old generally go for very young women, butter them up with ‘you’re so mature for your age’ but then the manipulation starts. Leave.

  3. Well, now we know why a 36 year old is dating a 22yo. He’s hoping you’ll be easy to manipulate. DO NOY BUY THIS MAN A GUN! As easy as they are to get in US it’s a big red flag to me that he not only can’t get his own but wants to bypass the system by having yu get it.

  4. ….tell him that this behavior is inappropriate and is exactly why you don’t feel comfortable purchasing him a gun. He isn’t stable.

  5. Op, it sounds like he’s trying to get you to do this BECAUSE HE’S UNABLE TO GET A GUN ON HIS OWN, BECAUSE HE WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW.

    It’s illegal to provide a firearm for someone who’s not supposed to have one, people have been charged for this. Don’t fall for this and get away from this freak.

  6. This 30+ year old man preyed upon you when you were 21, maybe barely 22; if he can’t legally own a gun himself right now, there’s a reason for that and he certainly shouldn’t be given access to one. He’s sulking and trying to guilt-trip you because you don’t want to be responsible for a lethal weapon for his sake; he’s emotionally immature and manipulative. He’s a clown, OP, get rid of him before he hurts you.

  7. Just from the him trying to trick you and then acting like that would be an absolute no. Firearms are not toys.

    Also YOU are responsible for that firearm. If he does bad shit you can get in trouble.

    If he is not allowed to purchase firearms there is a reason and a significant one.

    Hes 13 years older than you literally acting like a 13 years old. Do you want to continue to deal with that?

  8. Run. The age difference is bad enough, but there’s a reason he can’t buy a gun. And his tantrum afterwards is a very bad sign. This man is nothing but red flags. Please leave and be safe

  9. > well then he can’t have a gun to go hunting with his kids.

    Seems like the proper decision.

    What laws did he break? Other than trying to convince you to make a straw purchase of a gun for him, of course.

  10. If he can’t legally own a gun for himself there’s probably a reason for that, probably legal, and also probably constitutes felony possession. You would also probably get in trouble since you purchased it for his use. Honestly the dude sounds like a massive red flag. They don’t tend to take away a person’s right to own a firearm for no reason…

  11. Yeah no

    My ex nade me buy her a gun too, she started getting physical and waving it around.

    So Def don’t but this rando a gun

  12. is anyone else playing the age gap drinking game? it’s pretty early where I am~ might be too early to start drinking. maybe we could turn it into a pot smoking game.

  13. If he is not legally allowed to purchase a gun and you do it for him, then you can be charged with any crimes he commits using your gun. Don’t be stupid.

  14. The kind of man who throws his phone when upset is not the kind of man who should have a gun

  15. Any man that asks you to commit a crime (buying a gun for someone else is a crime btw) for them does NOT love you.

  16. If a 36 year old man, dating a 23 year old young woman, is too immature to have a discussion without sulking and throwing tantrums like a pouty child, he’s DEFINITELY too immature to handle a gun. Do not buy him a gun, and better yet – run from this guy. You can do better than a man 10 years your senior who is less mature than you.

  17. You made the right decision. I would also consider ending the relationship. The age gap is a red flag as well as him throwing a tantrum over your refusal. Guns make it really easy to act on impulse after an argument for a deadly outcome. But even without the gun he doesn’t seem like a catch

    Info: why can’t he do it himself? Obviously there is some reason why he needs you to. Is it due to a DVO or criminal history or something?

  18. Don’t make yourself a potential accessory to a crime.

    At 23 years of age, why are you dating a 36 year old who has children? Drop this loser and find someone better.

    If you do stay with him, please decline any invitation to join him on a “getaway weekend to Washington DC” in January of 2025.

  19. Yeah do not provide access to firearms to someone who gets easily upset. There’s also clearly a reason he himself can’t get a gun; that’s not anything to do with you and you could get in trouble for doing this. Tbh just bin the whole man

  20. I just want a little clarity here — is he asking you to fill out this form so that you can buy him the gun? Or does he just want you to have a license so that he can feel “more comfortable” legally about having the gun in the home cause he already has his license?

    You need to know either way OP that this screams red flags and you should seriously rethink this relationship. It’s bad if he doesn’t have a gun and wants you to acquire it for him (that tells me he’s doing something illegal because he legally can’t own a gun), and it’s bad if he’s pushing you to get a license so that he feels better or cause legally you need to also have a license in the state/country you’re in to have a gun in the house period.

  21. OP, take heed of the red flags and end the relationship. The age gap and his reaction when you won’t do things he wants you to are bad enough. The fact he can’t legally get a gun in your state and wants you to act as a straw buyer is a huge problem.

    First off, in most US states straw buying firearms (buying a firearm with the intention of giving or selling it to another person without proper ownership papers) is illegal. He is demanding you do something that could get you in prison.

    Second, why can’t he get his own gun? I am a gun owner in one of the most restrictive states in the US. The list of reasons someone would be unable to buy a gun is short. So either he’s got a past he has not told you about or he did tell you and you did not include it. Either way, the fact he wants a gun so badly as to throw a fit is troubling.

    Do yourself a favor and end this relationship before he manipulates you into something illegal or dangerous for you.

  22. He can buy a hunting gun without any paper work. To fill out a firearm permit is for a handgun. You don’t go hunting with a handgun. also its a federal crime for you to buy a handgun for anyone else.

  23. If his first reaction to being told no is to throw his phone and sulk then he doesn’t get to own a firearm.

    Why doesn’t his kids mother buy it? It’s very suspicious. OP I don’t know what state you are in but in mine you are not alone to own a gun if you have committed a domestic violence crime or a felony.

  24. Based on your post history, I think it would be best for you to just break up. Please find a new boyfriend or be single but seriously get out of that relationship

  25. So a 36 year old is throwing a toddler tantrum because you won’t let him have a gun illegally.

    Girl, get yourself out of this relationship. Do you really want to be with someone almost 40 who isn’t adult enough to not throw a temper tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants…

    There’s a reason why he’s not dating someone his own age.

  26. *Don’t buy him a gun under any circumstances*

    The fact that he throws his phone when you tell him no tells me he should not have a gun. The fact that you describe his anger as being out of hand (he communicates in a way that intimidates you) means he should not have a gun.

    The fact that he cannot legally obtain one on his own means he SHOULD NOT have a gun.

    Please be careful. He may buy one illegally.

  27. People don’t get banned from buying a gun unless they really fucked up. Like, history of domestic violence, or ex-felon, or that sort of thing.

    Anything below that and fifty NRA activists and lawyers will appear out of thin air, pile on your defense, and take on your case for free.

    Don’t be an arms trafficker for your criminal boyfriend that is 13 years older. He is clearly breaking the law by attempting to obtain a firearm, and you would be breaking the law by buying a firearm for him.

  28. Lemme guess, THIS GUY IS LEGALLY BARRED FROM OWNING A FIREARM, right?

    Don’t commit a felony on his behalf. There’s a damn good reason* the state doesn’t want him owning a gun.

    *bet you he says he was wrongly convicted or framed or something and it was somebody else’s fault
    **NARRATOR: Oh, but it WAS his fault…

  29. Don’t know where you are, but this is a straw purchase and I suggest you Google the consequences for that.

  30. Maybe he wants to do a serious crime with a gun and have it traced back to you.

    I don’t believe in hunting so I’d say no just because of that.

  31. He literally can’t buy firearms because of a RED FLAG LAW.

    How much more CRIMSON, BLOOD RED do you need a red flag to be?

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