A few weeks back, I (bisexual female) hosted a very drunken party which resulted in 2 of my friends (both 28M) staying over and having sex, despite one of them being in a monogamous relationship with 28F for 7 years.
I’m the only one who knows this happened other than them. Since then, my relationships with both my friend and his partner have intensified in a way I can’t shake, I’ll stop at nothing to interact with either of them. I have a rapidly developing friendship with his partner and I’m torn between selfishly spending time with her, getting to know her, and feeling terrible that I know she’s been cheated on.
I’ve caught feelings big time and I’m ashamed about how the relationship drama between them may have been the catalyst for all of it, am I that much of a needy/jealous pet type? Or is it the drama creating the feelings? Either way it seems too real to ignore. Also, I know he finds me attractive from past conversation, and as for her, either she is flirting with me or it’s adorable platonic obsession, she comes on very strong with compliments and sweet messages.
TL; DR suddenly developed feelings for a couple following recent act of infidelity. What do?
5 comments
Don’t be a shitty friend and tell her that he has cheated on her.
Honey, no. You’re not developing any meaningful relationship here. You’re caught up in the excitement but that partner will one day be you. You’ll look back and say “well I shouldn’t have thought it wasn’t going to happen to me” and only then will you be frustrated with yourself like anyone looking at the situation is frustrated with you suggesting this is something good NOW.
Please tell her her partner cheated on her. This isn’t about you or your feelings right now, I’m sorry to say, and I’d think twice about wanting to get involved with a dude who clearly isn’t loyal to his partner.
They *could* be open, and this could all be a misunderstanding of intentions, but in the off chance that it *isn’t* would you really be comfortable being involved with these people knowing that she was betrayed? With you, no less? Come clean, IMO.
Does she even know about his bisexuality
Are you seriously more concernced about whether theres a possibility of you being with them than making her aware her partner cheated on her? You’re not only a bad friend, you also don’t seem to actually even care about her, you need to tell her, its ridiculously selfish of you to be more focused on your crushes in this situation rather than the woman being cheated on