I have been on plenty of dates. Why do so many guys feel the need to bring up their ex on the first date?? I’m not saying this in an insecure or jealous way, I’m just frustrated that they don’t have anything else to continue the conversation with besides their ex? I understand that our past relationships shape us and play a large role in our lives, but honestly, it’s a waste of time to hear about that on the first date. There are endless topics to talk about and millions of questions to ask.
Idk why this has become such a pet peeve for me. But it has! This is a universal tip for everyone…. Just get through the first date before talking about your past partners! It almost feels like they would rather discuss their ex than get to know more about you
22 comments
My thoughts.. insecure of themselves to have a real first date.
I never mention any exes on a first date. Why torpedo my chances for a second date? Makes no sense.
How do you know where your going if you don’t know where you came from metaphorically speaking? There’s got to be “some” conversation? Which bring up the question of the line to not cross
If they talk about an ex right away and often they either aren’t over them or the ex is still a part of their life. It’s really that simple.
This is also a pet peeve of mine. My ex is still on my mind although he’s not involved in my life at all, but since I’m not over it fully yet, I’m not dating at all.
The first date should be about getting better acquainted with each other.
Myself- i would want to talk about anything other than an ex. Talk about likes dislikes, desires, hobbies to the man on the moon.. not ever ex’s
The times that I’ve talked about an ex were: I was specifically asked about them, or I very recently broke up with them so it was fresh.
If a man is mentioning his ex hes not over her and his break up is either fresh enough that he’s not actually ready to date, or he just needs to learn to be happy with himself before trying to date. Most people are turned off by this so you aren’t abnormal for this. If I am on a date and a women is talking about her ex I feel the exact same way.
Yes! Recently went on a date and not only did he mention his ex, he pulled the “she was crazy” card. Instant ick. No second date for you, buddy.
The other day I asked a guy what the best surprise he’s ever been given was and he went on to explain how his ex did the most over the top thing for him on his birthday. Kind of my fault, but why?
Agree. They aren’t over that person, or they are bitter.
I’ve had this happen, too! One time, I met a coworker of a friend & we hit it off but couldn’t go on a date for two weeks (we lived 90 min from each other & the one weekend in between was a friend’s wedding & I was in the bridal party).
We texted every day and like 36 hrs before our first date, he brought up the topic of past relationships & how he still kept in touch with his ex fiancé a year after they broke up (they were together a total of ~5 years). I still went on the date to see how it would go, only for him to hit me with the “I didn’t feel a spark” text the day after.
Dude reached out recently and I told him that him mentioning that he’s still friends with his ex fiancé might not be a smart move bc it can come across wrong to anyone that he’s trying to get into a relationship.
Like I get that exes can be friends and that it can be a sign of maturity, but sometimes it’s just a turn off and can come across like the person will prioritize the ex/past relationship over their current S.O./new relationship, or use their current partner for sex until the ex takes them back
I’m the opposite, I would be more worried about someone who never mentioned an ex.
They feel like it makes them feel more attractive because “a woman loved them once”. It’s pathetic and I’m a guy and never once mentioned an ex to a present girl I was dating. That doesn’t make the girl feel good.
my last date brought her ex up three times. I, too, was confused by it haha
They are not over them / self sabotage
Why even talk about your ex on any date? Unless there’s something important like you were married, they are stalking you etc. I don’t need to know about your ex. If there’s something I need to know I will ask.
I went on three dates with a guy, mentioned his ex over a dozen times in each. (After date one I kept a mental note). Ended up telling him I don’t think he was over her, that I’m not her, and it wasn’t going to work out. Did feel a bit bad cause he made a cool little wood piece with my horses face on it as a small gift the date before.
After the date, be it with a man or woman, I would slightly politely thank them for the meeting. But established that I have zero interest in someone who isn’t over their ex and that they should take a break from dating until they were. Because if anything, they are wasting everyone’s time.
Here’s a secret. You’re a rebound date and they’re not ready to date, because they’re not over their ex. That’s all it means. It’s what’s on their mind, you just happen to be there. In fact you should thank them for telling on themselves, so you don’t waste any more time with an emotionally unavailable person!
People just have poor social skills hahaha
Just excuse yourself and leave if that happens. Why anyone would sit through that? Have no patience for that shit behavior