My (f34) younger brother (m32) is getting married soon. He lives about a 5hr plane ride away. We are friendly and I love him, but have grown apart in adulthood.
I have two young kids, (3yo and 8 months) and we have been sick with one thing or another since September. After all getting a respiratory virus merely 2 DAYs following a stomach bug this week, I decided it was best to assume we could be sick and back out of going so they could invite someone else. I’m also extremely stressed about traveling with them on a plane, and attending a large wedding in Florida. I’m really sad about missing this but it feels like the right choice for my kids.
My youngest is still nursing and won’t take a bottle, or sleep at night anywhere besides me. So I can’t really leave them at home and go alone without them having a tough time.
My mom and dad are going to be angry and upset. My mom wanted this to happen so much that she bought our plane tickets and booked us a hotel room. I did not ask for this.
Am I making the right choice? What would you do?
Tldr; don’t want to drag my small potentially sick children to my brother’s wedding, how do I deal with the fall out?
4 comments
How soon is the wedding? “We all got really sick and can’t get on a plane in a couple days” is hard to argue with, even though it sucks to have to bail at the last minute. “We got sick and can’t come in a few weeks” is not very compelling, even though I can understand how this could happen that it started getting closer and it started all feeling like too much.
Ultimately, only you can choose what to do, because this is about your priorities. If you don’t go, the consequence may be that you and your brother drift even farther apart and your parents are mad for a bit (but will probably get over it). If you go (e.g., could you just take your youngest and leave the older kid with his/her dad?), the consequence may be an extra couple weeks of feeling frazzled and the kids acting up at the change in routine.
What did your brother say when you talked to him about it since it’s, ya know, HIS wedding and not your parents’ wedding?
I didn’t have anybody from my side at my wedding because I moved to another country, half the world away from my place of birth. I understood that people couldn’t come. It wasn’t crucial to have them at my wedding. If your brother has an issue with you not attending the wedding, it’s on him. Take care of yourself and your kids!
I would say you will probably regret not going to your brother’s wedding someday down the road. Unless I or my family was super sick I would go. These are huge life events.