My girlfriend has expressed that she really likes being manhandled in bed. The problem is that I am a smaller framed guy and she is a thicker girl (she weighs more than me but idk by how much).
When I asked her what parts of being manhandled she likes, she didn’t say. I’m imaging stuff like being carried, thrown around, generally feeling dominated. I can’t exactly carry her and throw her around.
Reddit, any alternatives that will still give her that feeling of being dominated? Just know I’m not a bodybuilder type, so please no suggestions of me hitting the gym for the purpose of this. I am in shape, but the sports I do require more of a lean build than a jacked one.
16 comments
How do you normally approach sex?
Something like “hmm, yes please, if it’s okay with you, with your permission, pretty please?” isn’t really that attractive. You could benefit a lot from a mentality more like ‘girl I’m going to make you cum allllll over my stiff dick’, while amusing/obnoxious as a verbal statement, would make a stark difference in your approach.
It’s all in the mentality. Slap an ass… Grab a tit… Pull a nip… Give her a choke. Body size has nothing to do with it
In that case I would think that intent and “roughness” is what she wants. Toss her on the bed by basically pushing her towards it, push her back down to bend her over before doing doggy, etc.
Basically be more assertive and ‘dominant’ in your movements, you don’t have to pick her up and press her over your head to manhandle her successfully
Sometimes they want to be bent over the couch with little to no warning. Be a bit more aggressive like that, kind of “taking” rather than waiting to receive. Personally, I don’t think you should interpret this literally, as in picking her up and throwing her somewhere.
Start lifting weights little buddy
The easy conservative take on “manhandle” is that she really just wants to feel like you find her really sexy to where you just can’t help yourself around her.
I had an ex who got turned on by my dress when we were supposed to be leaving for dinner that he play wrestled me into a wall, pinned me there, and we went at it.
You can order food without consulting her opinion and pick a Netflix show only you would like. Jk.
You don’t have to pick her up, you can just roll her and fuck her prone. The man has the the control in prone.
Idk if my gf is into that or not (she’s also taller and heavier than me), but a few times she’s laid on the bed on her back, me standing in front of the bed, I’ve reached down under her thighs and pulled her to the edge for standing missionary. She said that was sexy and dominant.
I’m curious what sport you practice.
Hold her hair have her crawl around like a pet while using her hair as a leash, use it to move he head around how you want. You don’t have to literally lift her to man handle her.
The fact that she can’t articulate what she wants, when asked directly, is problematic. You aren’t a mind reader, and “manhandling” has a VERY wide range of possible meanings depending on who you ask and what they’ve been exposed to.
Ask her again, and insist that if she wants to have her needs met she at least needs to be able to clearly and unambiguously define what they are. She may not feel safe and secure enough to open up about her desires, so make her comfort a priority. Let her know that she can share the contents of her erotic mind with you and that you will treat them with respect and discretion, and without judgement, and mean it.
Well….. It’s really an individual thing. You might not need to use much force or lift her.
For me, it’s about him taking the lead and being driven by his passions.
I like it when he guides my body into a new position, lifts my hips to deepen the penetration, drags me closer and pulls me onto his cock, repositions my limbs, grabs my body like he can’t get enough and just needs to feel me, squeezes and strokes my body, holds me in place when he has me where he wants me, and rolls us over to change positions.
You should never try to interpret vague sexual requests/wants, especially things that are kinky or rougher. You need to sit down with her and explain to her that while you want to manhandle her the way she wants, you are not understanding what she actually wants and she needs to tell you. When I ask my bf to manhandle me, I mean I want him to “throw me” (while still being careful!) into a new position, pull me by the neck or hair for a kiss, pin me down, or spank me, or even sometimes slap my face. These are not things that I assume someone would automatically understand I want. Manhandle can mean a million different things, and she also has a responsibility to understand what she is asking for.
It’s more about assertiveness and attitude than size.
I’m 5′ 9″ 165lbs. My wife is 5’2″ 197lbs… she’s a thick girl. I’m a skinny guy.
Size has nothing to do with being dominant… intimidating…or projecting the aura of being “in control”… it’s all in how you carry yourself.
For instance… when we’re doing it doggy style…I will push her face down into the mattress… this coupled with some aggressive dirty talk…and she’ll feel manhandled…tell her you’re going to use her like a Fleshlight…etc.
My wife is more submissive in nature. Perhaps your’s is not. If that’s the case then a conversation about role reversal is in order. Exploring a switch in sexual power dynamics is pretty hot all by itself.
Either way…you guys should sit down and talk about what each other really wants. Be prepared to hear and say some uncomfortable things…but be open minded and willing to take a step out of your comfort zone…you guys will be fine.
go up to her, stomp with one foot (with fists at your sides. once you have her attention (should take no more than 5-6 stomps at most), put your open hands obnoxiously close to her face and just say “uppies!”
Ask her what ‘level’ of being manhandled fits her image and if it’s just physical manhandling or does ‘ordering’ her work as well.
Think of it as being the lead in a dance. Move her around with what you got. You also don’t need a lot of muscle to grab. Grab/hold her firmly when you’re fucking her