I [21]F have never been in a relationship before I had my fair share of a Situationship last year. I have tried dating but it seems like these guys don’t want to take me out on dates whatsoever. I’ve only ever been asked out on one date when I was 18 and last year I went on a double date. That’s it. It kind of makes me a bit insecure because I see how often my sister gets taken out on dates. Guys will just slide up in her DM’s and they usually always say let me take you out, and she ends up going to really nice places. Even her guy friends will end up taking her to dinner. I’m starting to thinking there is something wrong with me lol
TL;DR: I’m starting to feel insecure because every guy I have talked to or had a connection with hardly take me out on dates. I would like to experience dates since I’ve only been on 2 ever.
9 comments
Just tell the dudes you want them to take you out.
Do you have quite a bit of casual hookups in the past? How to you interact with men? Could be some reasons.
Two possibilities that immediately jump to mind: make yourself more accessible or more appealing/attractive
1. Make yourself more available. Guys are more likely to ask you out if they are able to do so easily. This could be things like making yourself more approachable when out in public or getting on dating apps where guys are trying to interact with women.
2. Make yourself more appealing/attractive to guys. If you’re out of shape, get in shape. Not saying this will make everyone attracted to you, but in GENERAL, most guys prefer women that are more fit to women that are less fit. Be more open to trying new things. Make eye contact with guys and smile.
Just a few ideas. I don’t know anything about you, but I would bet most women (including you) that don’t receive as much attention as they want could remedy that with just point 1.
Edit: These two things will at least get you first dates. Whether that turns into relationship will be influenced to some degree by these two things, but also will depend on your personality and/or social skills in your interactions.
You need to establish a social life.
For some people, it just takes longer. Doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Also ask yourself whether you even want to go out with the people you are getting into situationships with. I can relate to what you’re going through because I have also had phases of this insecurity in my early 20s. But have hope, and continue to be yourself. Someone will see that and like it and you’ll like them back. I was 26 before I got into a real relationship and we’ve been together 5 years. It’s real. I’m not just wanted, it’s who I want too.
Come to Copenhagen lol
Just ask more guys. Or use dating sites.
Invest in yourself, the guy that will treat you right will come eventually,
My gf just random followed me on ig hust coz i had low following count and she thought she might get lucky to get follow back hahha, but i saw in her bio she goes to same university as my cousin and i was like… myb she mentioned me and i DMed her and here i am… in fukin relationship i could just dream off because i waited and didnt settle for less than i wanted…
Soo educate yourself, be proactive, take courses, talk with ppl, go out and have fun(if you are extrovert). Take care of your body, take care of your health… it might not attract relationship right away but be patient :3
dont aim for perfect bf coz perfection is illusion…. but… your guy, your soulmate will try to be perfect for you, he will change bad habits for you, he will keep his word and he will treat you so good it will feel unreal…
Good luck and much love
Don’t stress about it too much! you’re young and have plenty of time to date.
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And simply, the next time a man is interested in you say strongly hint or imply “take me on a date first” 🙂