I (25f) and my fiancé (27m) have been together for almost 3 years. We have a one year old together and I’m currently pregnant with our second child.
For past reference, I’ve never had an STD or an STI so I don’t know much information about chlamydia. I was clear during and right after my son was born.
I went in for my first initial OB appointment and ultrasound to make sure we are good to go in the pregnancy. Last night, the results were automatically uploaded to my app that allows me to see the results as soon as they are available. In red bold letters, “POSTIVE.” I spoke with a nurse on the phone and specifically asked if this STD can lie dormant, she said no, it’s a bacterial infection and you can be asymptomatic for a very long time and not even know you have it. I was cleared after my son was born so it had to have been contracted after the fact. I have taken the medicine prescribed to me and taking necessary precautions.
I have been 1000% faithful to my fiancé and I hold my loyalty to the upmost high, I love him with all I am. But please tell me if I’m understanding this correctly.
If this means he cheated how would you advise I go about this? Do I trust the results or him swearing he never cheated?
31 comments
he most likely cheated. I’m so sorry but you’re gonna have to end this relationship
You get chlamydia by intercourse. If you have been faithful, it could only have one other explanation. The tests result cannot lie. Humans can.
OP, you know the answer. He cheated. During and right after pregnancy is the most common time for men to cheat on their SOs as well. Chlamydia tests don’t usually have false positives, so unless you fall into the small percentage of false positives (which I doubt you do), then yeah, he cheated.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, and I know it can hurt bad, especially because someone cheating like that shows that not only do they not care about the emotional pain that being cheated on can put you through, but they also don’t care about the health effects (i.e. STDs and STIs) that being cheated on can cause you. He put your health AND your baby’s health at risk to have a nut, and it’s disgusting behavior.
Honestly, I don’t know how to tell you to go about it because I don’t know your views on cheating. Personally, I’d break up, even if I were pregnant because, again, someone cheating on me shows that they not only don’t care about my emotional and mental well-being but they also don’t care about my physical well-being, at least not more than they care about their own selfishness and gratification.
Or, you could be someone that forgives him but that’s not going to stop him from cheating more. Someone only stops cheating when they actually WANT to work on stopping
Edit: Ok actually after reading your post history, honestly, you should break up with this man regardless. He treats you awfully, and only takes and takes from you. OP, please, you DESERVE BETTER. Stop giving to someone that DOESNT care to make you feel loved and appreciated. He doesn’t care about your pleasure either. Leave this dude. Don’t spend the rest of your life with him. You aren’t his mom and you aren’t his servant
You have to trust the test results. There are RARELY false positives for this.
What you really need to be concerned with right now is that your husband had unprotected sex with someone and then KNOWINGLY put you AND YOUR UNBORN BABY at risk. STI can KILL fetuses’ if they aren’t found or treated. It could have legitimately caused you to miscarry. If the baby had been born while you unknowingly had an STI, they could have contracted it by passing through the vaginal canal. STI’s can cause complications for a baby’s entire life and even cause premature death.
The fact that he didn’t tell you that he had unprotected sex with another person and then had sex with you AND gave you an STI?
If he knew about it then you can literally press charges against him because that is illegal and it’s assault.
He cheated and didn’t even care enough about your and your baby’s health to use a condom. Especially the second bit is something I‘d consider an absolute dealbreaker. Non-negotiable. STIs can kill fetuses. For him, fucking around unprotected was worth putting your child‘s life at risk.
Read your own history.
You need to break up and go get an abortion. Never contact this asshole again.
Girl, your fiancé cheated & I wouldn’t marry him.
Yep there’s only one way to get it. You got it from him. So you need to tell him as you’re serving him divorce papers on your way out the door.
Your post history is awful. Two months ago you even wanted to leave him because you are so unhappy. Is it really a surprise that he cheated? Maybe even with a man since “Vaginas are gross and of the Devil”?
He cheated without condom and then he didn’t care that he can bring you in danger and your unborn child, he also had unprotected sex with you. He is a selfish asshole who don’t care what happens to you, if you are happy or satisfield. He just cares about himself.
For yourself and your children you must finally leave him!
Men lie, women lie, numbers (or in this case a blood test) don’t lie. It really doesn’t matter what he says. If you know you didn’t cheat, and you magically have an STI the doctor says wasn’t just dormant in your system, he cheated.
He definitely cheated. I know that they do STD testing with every pregnancy. You were clear. He cheated. That is the ONLY explanation. What you do from here is your choice but you’d honestly be dumb to stay with a man who not only cheated but gave you a STI while you’re pregnant!!!
Personally. I would have an abortion and move tf on with my life
He did cheat. He is lying. It is physically impossible for u to magically get that if u have been faithful. So either u are lying or he is.
Girl u are young. Leave him in the past and find someone else
From your post history it sounds like things have been difficult from the start, and especially since your first child was born. The most likely explanation is he’s been cheating. Have you told him you know?
Damn OP. I glanced at your post history. Your relationship has been pretty bad from the start. He sounds selfish. He doesn’t take care of your needs and wants. He put you and your baby at risk.
You are better off without this loser and you deserve better. Don’t let your kids see that this kind of relationship is normal.
After having read your post history- the clap is the least of your concerns.
You need to dump this man regardless.
Ugh sorry – he gave it to you. Sucks – I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy but your husband is a cheater. Real sorry
You need to leave him. Your post history is super depressing. It’s obvious he is a piece of shit and your self worth issues are telling you to accept this and stay and work it out. You desperately need therapy.
Edit: shot to shit
My advice? It’s as follows:
Abortion
Divorce
Move to someplace you only have to see him when dropping off or picking up your 1 year old, as approved by the court/custody order
Therapy
Of course he cheated and gave it to you. He’s garbage. Leave him and find someone better. It’s a pretty low bar.
results
Don’t have this baby. Leave him. Get some self respect
Chlamydia during pregnancy can cause SERIOUS problems with the fetus/baby. The reason it’s tested for in pregnancy is because it can have long lasting effects on the child.
It seems like you may have trouble with self-respect, but please care for your child. Your partner could have caused serious illness in your child. This isn’t something to take lightly. I recommend speaking with your doctor about the risks of Chlamydia during pregnancy and birth for the child to see how serious it could have been if you didn’t catch it.
Also? Many antibiotics also shouldn’t be taken during pregnancy. What if you had a strain of Chlamydia that was resistant to some antibiotics and you needed to take something that could affect your pregnancy?
>If this means he cheated how would you advise I go about this? Do I trust the results or him swearing he never cheated?
You caught something. You have bonefide, undeniable proof.
Do you trust the results or the only way you could have caught something?
He can swear up and down but you got that shit from somewhere and you didn’t get it from a toilet seat.
He cheated, period.
So not only did he cheat on you, he’s now gaslighting you about it. Wow. I’m so sorry.
Tell your fiancé, both of you get tested, you get retested.
He can swear all he wants, he can’t beat science. He clearly cheated.
2 months ago you wanted to leave him and now you’re pregnant again. Why do you keep bringing children into this unhappy relationship? Getting married and having more kids won’t fix your relationship problems. Yall need to figure out some other form of contraception.
“Do I trust the results or him swearing he never cheated.”
Lol
Geez your post history is concerning. Just dump him and get an abortion.
She’s already had a baby (assuming with this POS partner) and I’m guessing chlamydia didn’t show up then.
So in between baby 1 & pregnancy your poor excuse of a partner has been busy doing extra curricular activities with other ladies I’m afraid.
As others have said, he sounds awful. Get someone who treats you better, and really think if you want to bring another human into this worth with him.
Bruh what fiancé, your post history is so troublesome, how did y’all get to engagement with so many problems?