Hi so I’m looking to join a group therapy course that’ll last 10 weeks and today I had a zoom interview with the therapist that’ll run it.
My current therapist has thrown out that she thinks I may be autistic, which I’ve been looking into and is a possibility.
Anyway, during the interview with the group therapist, after telling him a bunch about me, my past, my family issues, my relationship, he’d said “is there anything you’d like to ask about me or the group?” And I don’t remember exactly what I’d said but it was something like, no, or I’m not sure, and he echoed back “you’re not sure. Right.” In this cynical tone like, just as he expected, like maybe he thinks I’m just really self-absorbed or sociopathic or something??
I just am not sure what to even ask? Because if he felt like I wasn’t enquiring enough into him, I wasn’t sure if I should because he’s the therapist and generally you’re not supposed to know the therapist too intimately, it’s supposed to be one-sided, because I’ve had issues with boundaries before and don’t want to open anything that shouldn’t be open. Also, he’d told me about it and I figured I’ll just go in and see how it goes.
Because he had an air like I was self-centred, I asked, “where is it?” And he echoed back “where is it.” Like that was a shallow question.
I explained to him, I trust him because he’d said he had 10 years experience in the group therapy, and I let him know I was just going to go with the flow, put myself in there and see where it goes.
It just upset me. I feel misunderstood a lot, in general. Maybe if I am autistic, that has something to do with it? Maybe I told him too much but I don’t know how much you’re meant to tell the therapist in an interview? I thought I’d just explain as much as possible? And also I thought with therapists you’re not supposed to ask too many questions about them? I trust his expertise and it’s more about the group providing therapy anyway so his degree isn’t that important if he has 10 years experience. What else would I ask?
Do I sound like a sociopath (I worry about that often, as a compulsive thing)?Should I have asked more…?
TL;DR: had a zoom interview with a therapist for a group therapy course. Told him a lot about me, but didn’t ask about him. I thought you’re not supposed to with therapists- he acted like I was selfish. Was I being selfish?
7 comments
I think that you are overthrowing it. Not having questions is normal. Likely, most people have none.
You don’t sound like sociopath. You sound like someone who worry too much.
You’re trying to analyze the analyst. That’s a popular coping mechanism helps a patient feel in control. Puts the situation in a place you feel comfortable, more at home.
This is where you feel comfortable – obsessing over what someone thinks of you. That’s something you can literally bring up in discussion, and should. If your counselor uses a sarcastic delivery, tell him it interferes with his work – it does. If he can’t change, change counselors and tell the service why.
You know what psychopaths and sociopaths do. not. care about? Other people’s opinions. In the words of Joey Tribione: “It’s like asking a cow’s opinion; It’s moo.”
What are you doing to manage your anxiety?
There is nothing about this that implies sociopathy. He probably thought you were holding back and wanted info you were not willing to ask. So he might think you are anxious or private, but I don’t see how he would leap to sociopathic. However, regardless of what he thought, I would be questioning his therapy skills. Because while it is appropriate for him to question you when he thinks he is holding back, it does sound like he was a bit mean about it. But it is possible you misread him. Or maybe his tone just came out a bit off briefly. So, I might not make too many conclusions from one brief interaction. If he is a good therapist, he won’t be making too many conclusions from one brief interaction either.
You should be bringing up this interaction with your solo therapist. You seem to have spun a pretty standard question into a really judgmental assessment. If you aren’t talking about your anxiety you should be.
Obviously I wasn’t there but it seems like there might be some misunderstandings/misreadings here and you may be overthinking things.
>”is there anything you’d like to ask about me or the group?”
I’d imagine that this is more about professional questions thank like “what kind of dogs do you like?” So not having any questions doesn’t mark you as a sociopath or anything. It’s okay to not have a lot of questions, especially if this is your first kind of group thing and you don’t really know what else to ask.
It sounds like he just has a habit of repeating people’s questions back to them, perhaps to confirm that he heard them correctly, or perhaps to try to prompt you to say more. I doubt it means anything about you at all. Your fear of being perceived as a sociopath sounds like something that’s a result of your anxiety in some way. I don’t mean that to be rude! But it sounds like you have a sort of obsessive fear about this, and it’s not really rooted in reality. I hope you’re able to have a good experience in therapy and get some reassurance.