my boyfriend and i have been together for four years, but we got together very young (14). he wants me to move into his 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment with him because he thinks it’s the next step, but i’m not ready. he’s lived there alone for 6 months and i stay over 3-4 times a week and i like it this way. i currently live in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment with my dad who is never home. i have my own room and bathroom, with no bills. it’s great, i have no complaints. i would like to keep it this way for at least another year, once i transfer to a university, but my boyfriend doesn’t want to wait. i told him we have our whole lives to live together, but he says he misses me and hates being apart or having to end the night without me. is 18 too young to live together? i don’t want to feel trapped.
4 comments
“But i’m not ready.”
That’s all that matters.
If you’re not ready you’re not ready. Don’t put yourself in a position you’re not comfortable with to make other people happy, that’s not fixing the issue , its just moving it to you, and that’s not fair.
This is definitely a more complex situation. I would say he should respect your boundaries and change his ways if he really loves you. I am stuck in a similar situation but I am trying my best to be patient and wait until my partner is ready.
I haven’t even finished university but I also want to live with my girlfriend. I am living with my parents and I have asked her to move in with me meanwhile. We both made huge compromises to get to our current step.
You could also communicate and work out a plan, this way he could have peace of mind.
p.s. it is common in my culture to live with parents even after marriage so it is not a problem for me and my partner.
If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.If you think you’re not ready, you’re definitely not. If you think you are ready, give it another thought
And believe me, I’ve made that exact mistake. Moved in with someone I was dating when I was not ready.. boy of boy, did I not know how unready I was about to be. It basically tore our relationship apart in mere days lmao We lasted about 2 weeks under the same roof.
You learn a LOT about boundaries and values very quickly when you live together, even if it’s been a while. It turned from good fun, to sour, to straight abuse and getting a whole bunch of people involved. Family and friends, police, work places and children. It was pure nightmare fuel. I literally had to have people escorting me and sneaking me out the back of work and home.
Don’t do it unless you are 100% sure its the time, cause it will drastically change how you live and what you and your partner experience together. Its a completely different stage of relationships.
Keep your personal space as long as you need. You’re still very young.