I 32F have been with my partner 38F for three years. I am a lesbian and she is bisexual and has a 10 year old son. We recently bought a house together, and everything has been going well. We both come from a very traditional family who is not fully accepting of homosexuality. My parents slowly came around but her parents quickly accepted me in the beginning. Her parents never made me feel uncomfortable or made it seem like they didn’t accept me. They were happy we bought a home together and her father even helped me with a few projects.
Since everything has been going so well, I purchased a ring and I am planning on proposing in 2 weeks. Today, as I was picking up her son from their house, I told them that I was planning on proposing and asked for their blessing…
Her mother was so shocked as if she seen a ghost and her father quickly turned his head away from me and looked pissed. His reply was “I don’t want to know anything about that”. Her mom then responds “so you guys are that serious?”. I was flabbergasted! We literally just bought a home 5 months ago, we both take care of her son, and we have a dog together. It was almost as if she didn’t take us serious to begin with? Yet she never gave off that impression. She then says I have her blessing because of how I treat her grandson. But doesn’t even mention how great I treat her daughter. She also says that it is not her business what we do behind closed doors and that just because this is happening, the son doesn’t need to call me “mom” if he doesn’t want to. Such a backhanded blessing lol.
I’m so heartbroken and I don’t know what to do. I still want to go through with the proposal but I feel like I could never face her parents again. It took so much from me to build the confidence to approach them and I almost feel like I shouldn’t have. I wanted to show them that I respect them so much and love their daughter and grandson. Now I’m stuck trying to act happy with my soon to be fiancé but deep down I feel like her parents hate me and this nice accepting act they’ve put on for the past 3 years was fake.
Any words of advice?
2 comments
I cannot begin to understand the lack of acceptance for loving who you are. However, I wish you and hopefully your soon to be fiancé all the best.
It sounds like you two make a lovely couple. And I think as much as you want her parents acceptance, maybe this is a sign that has shown you who they truly are, that they didn’t fully come around to the idea of you and her.
It seems like you are both living happily together, taking care of her son and your dog. You’re building that life together and I hope you realize that while blessings are great, it isn’t everything.
So plan the best proposal ever and ask the question because you deserve to live the rest of your life in happiness with the woman you love.
You two have been together for 3 years and bought a house together, why care about what her parents think ? Just ask her out.