Maybe I am being sensitive about this but it is bugging me.
I seen a weight dr because I need to change myself and I have tried just about everything to lose the weight but keep failing. My husband went with me for support but I didn’t think he would say what he said. He said, “I support her for taking this step but I like her big and everything”. I got upset and thought to myself if he supports me on my journey why would he say this??? Maybe I am looking into it to deep or what not but it is bugging me.
I did talk to him and this is how the convo went.
Me: Why did you say what you said in the dr appointment?
Him: Because I like you that way you are.
Me: If you going to be supportive then you have to help me with this journey. I feel like what you said was really uncalled for. I need you to be on my side and I need this change for myself.
At the appointment, the dr talked about calories and how that plays a part of it all, weight loos surgery, medicine and how he thinks focusing on excercise before focusing on changing habits of eating food. My husband jumped into weight loss surgery like we didn’t try anything else. I am not against the surgery by all means but I rather try everything else before jumping into surgery. I told the dr, “I am not against surgery but I need to try everything else before surgery”. I am the only one that is working so having a surgery that isn’t life saving right now isn’t in the books. Then my husband said, “I have talked to her about a hysterrectomy, what do you think about that”? I said, “Again, why are you pushing that on me? You already talked about your thoughts with my primary and she even said no and I said no”. The DR said, “did she even talk about taking everything but your ovaries”? I just sat there quiet didn’t even say anything else, my anxiety went sky high so I shut down. No one is listening to me when I said NO then stop trying to change my damn mind. I wanted to walk out but I needed this change. Going forward, my husband can just keep his ass at home when I go see any DR.
When we left and got into the vehicle, he knew something was wrong and asked me. This is the convo…
Him: What is wrong?
Me: You kept pushing for something that I have said NO previously to my weight Dr. Do you not get when I said NO the first time that I will not change my mind? If I can avoid that then I will.
Him: Maybe it is for the best to go to a route that maybe would work with your journey.
Me: So just jumping into surgery and not trying everything possible is what is best? Especially, I am the only one that works in this house.
Him: I want you to succeed in your journey.
Me: Is that why you said you like me big?
Him: That isn’t what I ment.
Me: If you are going to be supportive in my journey, then stop dictating on what is best for me. I haven’t tried anything at all and you want to jump into me having surgery of any kind. Shouldn’t that be my choice to not be cut open? I do not need you to tell me what I need to do with my body, so I will do what the Dr told me to do. If that fails and I nor the Dr sees results then we will talk about weight loss surgery.
Him: Why are you against doing the surgery first?
Me: It is my choice and I am done talking about it. Simply you don’t agree with what I want to do first so you are not even supportive. I can do this without your support.
On the ride home, it was temse but I don’t even care…
Am I wrong for trying everything else before surgery?
*I will not respond to private messages*
2 comments
I don’t know anything about this other than what I’ve seen on tv, but the consensus on weight loss shows is that there is usually an enabler keeping the person at an unhealthy size. And sometimes the relationship doesn’t survive the attempts to make lifestyle changes.
Saying he loves you the way you are doesn’t mean he doesn’t support you. It just means he doesn’t need you to change, and not that he specifically doesn’t want you too.
Sometimes, you just have to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and assume they meant well.