Me (20) and boyfriend (22), have been in a relationship for 2 years. I left to study abroad a few days ago for 4 months. I talked to him and told him I would be very busy and won’t have time to talk as much especially with the time difference. I felt we should break up, because we already had a very unhealthy relationship but he brushed it off.
Some context, we have always had a super toxic relationship, arguing all the time, he cheated many times, very controlling and super clingy. I like to party, go out with friends and have freedom in my relationships. We are complete opposite’s when it comes to relationships. We started dating my freshman year of college and I basically built my life around him, such as the same friend group.
I am now in a different country studying and it is everything I dreamed of. However when I don’t answer his calls, or text him a lot he blows my phone up and gets mad. I do care for him but it’s very difficult to be in a relationship with him. One because our relationship is so toxic, two because we have no trust in each other, three is because I feel more stuck than in love. I have tried to end things with him many times but I always end up feeling bad, or threatened into staying in the relationship. He has threatened to blackmail me, send out my nudes, take all my friends when I’m gone, and ruin my life.
Last night, he believes I cheated on him when I went to the club with some friends. I will admit he saw a video of me dancing with a guy but it was for two seconds before I pushed him away. He did not see that part though. He is now threatening to ruin my life, take all my friends, and make me feel completely isolated when I get back to my school. I am worried he might be able to do it since I am abroad and not able to talk to my friends as much or hang out with them. I want to end things but I don’t know how to go about it because he is threatening these things, and I feel guilty because he thinks I cheated. I feel very stuck and don’t know what to do.
Red flags all over the place but I’m worried he will make his threats a reality.
TL;DR: I am studying abroad and stuck in a toxic relationship, he cheated many times throughout relationship, he believes I cheated last night from a video someone sent him. He is threatening to ruin my life and isolate me from my friends (we have the same friend group). I feel very stuck and it’s hindering my experience abroad. How do I go about the break up?
2 comments
Who cares what he does. End it and block him. If your “friends ” side with him they were not your friends anyway. You deserve a healthy relationship. Take the opportunity you have been given.
**he cheated many times, very controlling and super clingy.**
And yet, you’re still with him? Makes no damn sense.
But he’s such a great guy when he’s not cheating or manipulating me.