Been maneuvering an LDR while I’m in medical school.
We’ve been in no contact for a week.
We had a big fight a week before Christmas. She intended to meet an ex-summer situationship for help on a school project – basically wanted him to do the project for her as he’s an engineer. He was in her city for work. She intended to meet at a library on Sunday evening but he texted her to go his hotel at around 8pm and asked if she wanted to smoke weed afterwards. She refused to go and told me.
I felt disrespected that she did not tell me she was in contact with him in the first place. None of that sat right for me We got into a big fight and she broke down hysterically crying because she felt that I did not trust her.
She ended up crying for four days straight to the point where she had to leave class, had mental health struggles and asked for space. Said that she needed time to heal which I agreed with. I told her I want her to be okay and can agree to space but it would be strictly for healing and clearing headspace. No dating whatsoever, and if either party does then it would be a break-up. She could not agree on any exclusive situation or timeline.
During News Years break she went to her hometown. She was going out with her usual friend group and texted me because she emotionally triggered by her mom saying something mean to her right before leaving. Only when she was upset did she mention that another one of her ex-fuck buddies was going to be there.
Nothing happened according to her, she just needed to be with friends. He didn’t make any advances either. But then she decided to go on a weekend trip with that group the next day and TBH I felt sick the whole time, called her like 4am in the morning and she refused to pick up. Then I get a text just saying that dude saw that she was upset, asked her what was wrong and just started kissing her while she was talking and she told him to stop and he got upset and left. Real weirdo shit on his part, she said she did not cheat out of the relationship and I agreed.
Anyway, we haven’t talked since last Sunday. I don’t know how to proceed. It seems like she wants me to trust her when she puts our relationship in compromising positions. I don’t know whether I just wait things out, I don’t know if I should date and explore my options locally, I don’t know if she will ever reach out. What is the best way to handle this situation?
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TL;DR – she asked for space and I don’t know how to proceed. Need advice on how to continue.
1 comment
You are in a difficult situation and trying to navigate it in the best way possible. It’s understandable that you feel disrespected and upset about your partner’s decision to meet with an ex-summer fling, especially under the circumstances you described.
When someone asks for space, it’s not always a sign that the relationship is over. Sometimes, space is necessary for individuals to work through their feelings and come to a better understanding of what they want in a relationship.
It’s crucial to have open and honest communication with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Giving her space while also setting boundaries for yourself is important. Let her know that while you’re willing to give her space, it’s not an open invitation to see other people or engage in behaviors that would compromise the relationship.
You should also consider your own needs in this situation. If you’re feeling emotionally triggered or upset, it’s crucial to take care of yourself and seek support from friends or a therapist.
Relationships take time to heal, and it’s not easy to move forward from a difficult situation like this. Give her time and space to heal, and for you to take the time to reflect on what you want in a relationship.
In summary, communication should be open and honest with your partner, boundaries should be set, and space should be given. Remember that relationships take time to heal, and it’s not easy to move forward from a difficult situation like this.