(M) I’m quite inexperienced with sex. Had about half a dozen encounters. Having issues with intense anxiety & inability to orgasm. I’ve been working on these two things & trough taking a break from masterbation & then starting again with changed technique I’ve made some progress.

But something else has come to be an issue. When I’m hard & ready to go & supper into the moment but I just can’t find where to go & if she guides me I struggle to get in & stay in. Eventually this costs me the ability to be aroused. It’s like I can’t find it & if I do there’s something blocking me or the angle is just something I can’t work out.

There are all these position I wanna try but it seems impossible & didn’t expect it to be this difficult. Missionary is the only thing I’ve done that’s been successful but it’s even hit or miss. Her on top works but there’s not a ton of sensation to keep me engaged.

Is this something that happens to people?

How can I fix this. It’s really making me sad & adding to my issues of anxiety based performance issues around sex. It just becomes a vicious cycle.

5 comments

  3. Use your hand as a guide. Rest your hand on the tip of your dick when you are about to insert and gently use your fingers to figure out where you are. You can part her lips and just use your fingers to navigate. You can also ask her to put you in.

  5. Entry angle and position are different with every partner. This is something you will “learn” and become more natural the more sex you have with a particular partner. Sex is like a game of Twister, but without your clothing. Figuring out where to rest your hands, the angle you hold your body, how high/low the entrance to her vagina is, etc., is all something that requires some thought and planning sometimes.

    I find it helpful when sticking it in — to use my finger first as a guide, find the wet spot/hole you’re aiming for, and use your finger hand to guide the head of your penis to it’s target. Just “poking around” hoping to find the hole usually doesn’t work, and if the lights are out – you can’t see what you’re doing.

    Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to raise up, lower down, put a pillow under knees or butt to raise/lower/re-position the angle, etc.

    If you’re older (say 30+) you might have a bit of ED going on here too. If you lose your rigidity while fooling around trying to “get it in there” – you might want to talk to your primary care doc about some sildenafil or tadalafil (Cialis/Viagra). A low dose will often make a big difference. Don’t be embarrassed, the likelihood of ED is about the same % as your age, e.g. 30% chance at 30 years old, 50% chance at 50 years old, etc.

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