I’m a 28F and my husband is 29M. Last night we had a date night. We went out for a drink and a dance. It was an amazing night until we got to a restaurant. When our food came he abruptly left and said I was “annoying”. I am beyond confused at this point. Because I was confused where his attitude towards me came from. In my head I happy that we had the opportunity to go out and have fun.
He left me in the restaurant eating alone while he went to the car. I purposely didn’t follow him so I can gather my thoughts. Moments after, he stormed into the restaurant and demanded I leave. I politely declined. I was prepared to order an Uber home because I didn’t want to be around his energy anymore. When I refused he verbally and physically assaulted me in the restaurant.
I didn’t know what else to do besides to cry. I stayed in the restaurant crying.
I’m still very much annoying and confused by this entire situation. I’ve expressed my worries this morning but of course he’s nonchalant and a fucking narcissist towards the situation.
20 comments
He’s abusive. Please move in with family or friends before he does something terrible to you and before you get pregnant and bring an innocent kid into an abusive home. I‘m so sorry.
This is weird behaviour. (Physical = inexcusable) Has it happened before? Did something else happen? Troubling. Nothing justifies his behaviour- how would he explain what happened?
I know it’s hard but u don’t want ur kids growing up seeing him physically and verbally assault u and thinking that’s normal. U r the example u give ur kids and they follow in ur steps. If u have girls, do u want them to be married to someone like ur husband and see them suffer like u are? Or if u have boys, do u wnat them to think it’s ok to hit or call their wive names? Then they have kids and it’s the same cycle again. You have to set up your kids for the best future they can have and your husband is not it.
Physical and verbal abuse is a big NO. That said, something is off about your story. It’s too 1-sided and things don’t add up. Unless your husband is mentally ill, and seriously so, I don’t see how someone can suddenly get upset, flip out, storm out of restaurant without being provoked in any way. What are you not telling us?
Super weird and abusive!! Get out now!
You need to tell your dad everything when you are with him in private.
So move in with someone else. Move in with your mom or a friend. Or get an apartment. And leave him there at your dad’s place if he won’t leave.
Sorry to say but seems he is cheating on you. Possibly someone was in that restaurant he didn’t want to see. Him being abusive is also crazy. I suggest you make him pay alimony and support for your kids. His ass should be humbled he can kiss your feet.
Your husband sounds like he could be a narcissist. He got unhappy at you being happy, so he had to randomly ruin it. Then when you said no to leaving, he went into narc rage. But on any case. Tell your dad this guy is abusive. He can help legally evict him and get you divorced.
He physically assaulted you inside the restaurant? Do you know why the restaurant didn’t call the police?
Please leave this relationship immediately before the abuse escalates. He wasn’t afraid to physically abuse you in public, he will have no issue doing it at home if he becomes irritable.
You can only get creative speculation from reddit as to why he suddenly flipped out at the restaurant. If you don’t know why and you were there with him, how could we possibly provide an answer? The story is so one-sided that it doesn’t make sense. Is he on drugs? Is he mentally unwell? You state that he’s a narcissist and has been abusive in the past, that means this is a pattern of behaviour for him. What is baffling? That he acted this way in public?
You, him and the children live with your father so tell your father that you are being physically and verbally abused by him. Call the police and tell them that he abuses you. What other responses are you looking for? What actions have you taken? Maybe this is just a vent post and you’re not seeking advice, then that’s understandable.
Go back to the restaurant and see if they have any security footage. Get it, go to the police station and have him removed from the home.
Or hell just go to the police station, file a report, and they can follow up with the restaurant for anyone who witnessed it and remove him from the home and get a restraining order against him
He physically assaulted you inside the restaurant? Why did nobody call the police?
So what were you doing that was annoying. I think there is more to this story than you are telling us. It is highly unlikely a man will get up and leave when his food arrives unless he has a good reason to.
Divorce the bastard!
Got that you are confused and he’s nonchalant. Maybe more communication would be helpful, was your husband intoxicated and is this is a normal reaction from him?
All you assholes downvoting can jump off a cliff
What?! Did nobody at the restaurant call the police?! Please leave this man. He sounds incredibly unstable and IS abusive!
> When I refused he verbally and physically assaulted me in the restaurant.
So many questions. (1) Did no one intervene in this assault? Not one single person at the restaurant? (2) Did you call/go to the police & make a report? (3) Has he ever verbally or physically abused you before? (4) If he is not afraid to hit you in public in front of people, why is that? Did you tell people to go away? Leave you alone? That it was “nothing”? Why would you do that? (5) If you put up with his abuse because you were afraid that things would be worse once you got home, why are you even married to him? (6) You titled your post “Baffled and disappointed” as if he just hurt your feelings because he was in a mood & ruined your evening together. Yet what actually happened was bizarre behavior with an extreme response, followed up by multiple kinds of abuse.
You need to leave him. I know you haven’t, and I also know you did not contact the police about this. If this was the first time he hit you, you didn’t call the police because no one calls the police the first time. If this is not the first time, you didn’t call the police because you’re afraid of him. You sort of made a stand in the restaurant because you felt safer in a place where other people were around, but you need to get out of that marriage altogether. But do it **safely.** Get all your ducks in a row. Tell people what’s going on. Make a plan. Protect yourself from him.
Do you believe your father would protect you if he knew your husband was abusive? What do you think your dad would do if he knew exactly what was happening between you and your husband?
Is he the jealous type? Regardless of whether he is or isn’t this is unacceptable behaviour towards you. If this is not the first time I’d be consulting with your father and deciding whether you want to get the police involved