I’m totally sure I’m going to be downvoted, but I don’t care because I’m not writing this post to get upvotes, sharing my feelings with you is the only reason why I’m writing this post.
I’m a 25 year old woman. False modesty aside, I’ve been praised because of my looks my whole life, especially in high school, random people (both women and men) check me out when I go out, I tried using Tinder for fun some time ago and I literally got 30-40 likes in 1 minute and a similar amount of messages. I’m 5’10 and different people (even my female therapist) have told me I basically look quite similar to young Natalie Portman.
Everyone assumes that I put myself on a pedestal, waiting for the rich/good-looking guy who will give me the world, but I’m just not like that. I absolutely don’t get any sense of satisfaction from sitting there and waiting for my man to give me the world, it’s boring as hell and it makes me feel like a useless doll. I was born to lead, be strong and needed. This isn’t just how I function in my dating life, this is what I’m like in general.
I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago and we immediately clicked. Relationship dynamics aside, we would talk all night about anything and have a lot of fun, we would joke all night, say cute things to each other, he’s actually really nice to talk to. He’s shy and a bit of an introvert, but once he feels comfortable around you, he really is cool.
He’s really emotional for a guy, he’s ”stereotypically feminine”. He likes cute things, he needs and wants affection, reassurance, encouragement. He’s the total opposite of tough.
He seems to be really in love with me. I still catch him checking me out, and he looks like this when he does: š I accidentally found out he saves my selfies. He describes me (to his friends and me) as ”charismatic, strong, smart, caring, beautiful, tall” (we’re the same height). He literally called me ”his lioness” a few weeks ago and that was a really nice compliment. I really didn’t do this just to feel wanted, but a few months ago I got mad at him and nearly dumped him, he’s so in love he basically panicked and he was scared for weeks after that. He would say ”I hope you’ll be in my life forever, don’t scare me like that again.”
We both understand society expects men ”to act like men”. When we’re out in public or when we’re hanging out with friends, I make him look good in front of others and I let him look like the hero. When we’re alone, sometimes he even rests his head on my thighs while we’re watching TV, and lets me play with his hair, or sometimes he asks me if he can rest his head on my chest. I remember it was very difficult for him to reveal his true self, he was afraid of being seen as weak and pathetic, when he realized he could do that with me, he just let himself go.
He’s absolutely as important to me as I am to him. I literally don’t enjoy any other dynamic in my relationships and that’s why I’m incompatible with most men. Again, I was born to provide, be needed, take charge. I wasn’t just crated to be someone’s doll.
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41 comments
Thatās great for you, and for him.
Hope youāre both happy, and continue to be happy in life.
Iām not sure why anyone would downvote that, or why youād think that people would?
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Happy to hear this
the fact that you make him look in public counts for a lot. if you can keep this dynamic i think you will be happy together for a long time
Lol i like how this post is 90% you bragging about how awesome you are with a few lines about your bf thrown in to justify writing it. Cool story bro š
> but a few months ago I got mad at him and nearly dumped him, he’s so in love he basically panicked and he was scared for weeks after that
What was the argument about?
How was it resolved?
I don’t wanna put the cart before the horse here, but this teensy little happening has me curious–and may just be a sign that he might be censoring himself a little bit more around you than he wants to.
A year and half is still the honeymoon phase. Wait until one of you gets hit with any kind of serious life problem and then watch as he crumbles under the pressure from his insecurities that he failed to address in his life. Then youāll start to resent him for being the one thatās forced to pick up his slack at which point I doubt heāll still seem as cute to you. But hey whatever you sound like you know it all
I have a sneaking suspicion that things are going to go south when you no longer find novelty in him being anxious to appease you and you’re going to end up blaming him for the relationship failing, even though the reality is that you never respected him and just enjoyed the social status having a submissive boyfriend brings you.
Weirdly, I donāt see much here that indicates heās āsubmissiveā. Are you counting resting his head in your thighs as āsubmissiveā? That kinda seems like something a lot of couples do in private anyway.
Nonetheless, congrats on having a happy relationship.
Ok but natalie portman looks young still lol
Tbh none of his behavior sounds submissive. He’s just opening up to you.
You do sound slightly insufferable though – you’re happy because you have a big ego and a doormat who will enable it. It’s fine in the honeymoon phase, just be prepared for when the time comes that he stands his ground on some disagreement and be sure to approach that conversation, not as if he should be expected to submit, but as an equal. Just because you’re more outspoken doesn’t mean you speak for the relationship collectively.
That sounds harsh but I had trouble wording it in a nicer way. My ex was like this and couldn’t function when we disagreed on something. If she couldn’t steamroll me, she’d pout at whatever solution I proposed. Don’t be that person.
Do you actually like HIM or do you like that you seem to think you are out of his league and he apparently worships you? “I make him look like the hero”..? Cmon lmao
Your post comes across as self-congratulatory, and the āso in loveā remark is a red flag. Too bad you got off on scaring him. You wonāt be happy long term, but itās cool that you got to experience what itās like to have a fully submissive partner.
I would have liked this if you didn’t feel the need to stroke your massive ego for 3 paragraphs.
Step down that pedestal.
Nobody likes a bragger
Wow what a fantastic humble brag, and such a lovely display of humility. Nice to see you put yourself on the highest pedestal possible, so high your bf has no choice but to worship you.
It sounds like you might be *so in love* with how *in love* he is with you, and how you see yourself through *his* adoring eyes.
This was the weirdest flex I’ve ever read. From my time living on this earth, any “woman” that states how much attention she gets is generally ugly, inside and out. Also 30 matches in 1 minute on tinder isn’t special, those are rookie numbers for a new account, should be at least 10k within first day if you are actually decent looking.
Tl:dr your flex sucks.
When this is over, he’s gonna be crushed, depressed and won’t ever be the same.
You sound like you will have absolutely no problem moving on and jumping on the next one who strokes your ego.
Then there will come a time when looks won’t be on your side, and you’ll automatically be pushed down a notch. You’ll find a sub to complain about where all the nice guys are and not even take a moment of self reflection.
Have fun, sounds great.
This reads like a troll post
Yuck š©
Dude the level of ego behind this post! What are you, levitating above the rest of us?
“Everyone assumes that I put myself on a pedestal, but I’m just not like that” she says, from atop her self-constructed pedestal.
Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with a relationship between a more dominant woman and a more submissive man. But the fact you spend about half the post talking about how awesome you are before you even mention said boyfriend kinda paints you as exactly the kind of person you say you aren’t.
Everything you just wrote makes you sound like a narcissist.
I bet youāre not even that hot
Aight. š
This isn’t going to last. You like how much he likes you. When he realizes it isn’t truly being reciprocated he’ll go along with it for awhile, come to resent you, and move on. I’m willing to bet you aren’t as cute as your humble brag suggests or you have some other alarming personal flaw that is making you this insecure.
And he isn’t submissive fyi, he’s just being human. Nothing that you described isn’t masculine.
That’s a lot of words to say you don’t know what submissive means.
I donāt mean to be rude, but this is every man I’ve dated. As soon as we’re alone in private they feel like they can be themselves and it’s a beautiful thing.
Are you sure you’re in love with him, like he is with you?
You sound like a walking red flag
I’m hoping this is a troll post, otherwise god help your partner.
If this is legit, then please consider learning some humility.
This was written by an ugly man.
He isn’t submissive, he’s just a chilled nice guy from what you’ve described.
Bruh… How strong must your ego be to create a whole post so you can just praise yourself and brag.. it almost makes me think that you’re actually kind of insecure in a weird way and trying to seek validation of some kind
Who doesnāt like resting your head on a womanās thighs or boobs? 10/10 would recommend to anyone
This is the most narcissistic thing Iāve read today
Even your therapist thinks youāre attractive? WOW! So glad I know that now!
He was scared for weeks because he thought you were going to dump him? he sounds like he needs therapy. he sounds very codependent. also nothing about his behavior submissive. I don’t think you know what that word means.
If both of you enjoy your genuine relationship and no one is āfakeā well then thats amazing and super rare these days! Enjoy it!
Uh…congrats? Join the club of hundreds of thousands of attractive women who are also ambitious and driven?
It’s giving not like the other girls. My best friend was a model who was sent by her agency to Milan to walk in fashion week, and made it into Vogue. She recently got a full ride scholarship to law school and is the editor of our law review. Beautiful, ambitious women are everywhere. You’re not as special as you seem to believe.
I am awesome and beautiful. Women and men of all ages stare at me like Iām a goddess. I am perfect in every wayā¦Lolol okkkk. Good to know your looks are your entire personality
Damn, you better hope your looks never fade because your personality is absolutely awful.