He has never given me any indication not to trust his commitment to me until now.
The other day my boyfriend and i were cuddling on the couch and I wanted to tell him a dumb funny story I remembered. I asked him to go to our text messages in his phone. He suddenly got up, removed his arm from around me, and then turned and angled himself away from me to open up the messages.
I felt suddenly very hurt and worried that he was hiding something. When I asked why he did that, he told me that he just didn’t want something to pop up (his examples were offensive memes, checking account, or me prodding him about random people on his phone). After that, he read off all the people in his messages even though I didn’t ask him to do that, because he didn’t want me to worry.
After that incident though, I can’t help but shake the feeling that he may be cheating on me. I mean he gave his reasons, but I still don’t quite understand why? We have calls every night, but it’s only at a specific time and now I’m wondering if he’s spending the other time with the “other woman” or whatever. And we see each other twice a week, but it’s always the same days so again I’m worried he’s seeing the “other woman” on the other days.
My sister, who is very rational and grounds me, told me that I shouldn’t think too much about it because everyone has something to hide.
I feel like I’m driving myself crazy by thinking about all this. How can I deal with this?
Also we were supposed to spend the whole day together today, but he texted me this morning saying he couldn’t sleep all night and if we could just do dinner instead. I don’t know if it’s my overthinking or not, but now I’m wondering if he’s spending the day with the “other woman” and then coming to spend dinner with me.
TLDR; Boyfriend physically hid and angled his phone away from me when I was trying to tell him a story and now I can’t help but think he’s cheating.
15 comments
Maybe he had porn up earlier.
I showed my vet videos of my dog yesterday, I made sure to go to the video then show her. I’m not cheating on my vet.
Your past post says that you and your sister are the ones who set the schedule that he was only allowed over two days a week?! So, that was your choice, correct?
And you also mentioned that sex is “meh”. Could you be looking for something to worry about because you, yourself, are unhappy?
Honestly, I find your relationship with your sister more concerning than the one with your BF.
Nah. That’s weird. It would raise my suspicion as well.
Why can’t he see you or call you at other days/times?
In another post, you wrote your bf is coming to your and your sister’s place…do you also regularly stay at your bf’s place? Has he introdcued you to his friends and family?
Honey this is sus. If he had nothing to hide then he wouldn’t be trying to hide things. Either he’s got another woman or you are the other woman. Or he’s been shit talking you in one of his chats. Go over to his place, just show up with some brownies or something.
I think you’re way overreacting and there’s no reason to think he’s cheating. I think my phone is private and I would have done exactly the same thing. Not because I’m hiding anything terrible, just because it’s my phone and I don’t want anyone looking at it.
He’s cheating on you with your sister! That’s why she’s covering for him. Jk
I would think the same as you but probably see if there’s more evidence before jumping to conclusion. Don’t go looking for trouble though because that can damage a relationship.
You are the other woman…..
Go with your gut. It never steers you wrong.
That’s not rational your sister is not rational. Actually you’re the one who’s a little more alert and aware. There’s no reason he would hide something from you except it would be financial or sexual so I would try to see.
This is really weird behavior. Ask to see his phone. If he refuses or gets angry, I suggest breaking up because those responses admit guilt.
I don’t want to assume anything wild, but it’s weird to me. Yesterday I asked to go through my fiance’s pictures to find pics of us and he just handed me his phone willingly.
the guy I’m sleeping with checks his phone openly with me and I leave him my phone to watch videos or play games while I shower all the time
You’re the other woman.
I agree this is concerning, particularly with the further context you’ve added in your comments.
It absolutely makes zero sense to say you have met his dad but he doesn’t want you to go to his house because he cares for his unwell Dad.
If I was you, my next move would be inviting myself over to his place.
Sometimes my friends say dumb things, wouldn’t want my wife to read some of those things. Plenty of reasons not to worry, especially if he’s never done anytyung to cause you to he suspicious.