Hi everyone, there is one thing that has been on my head for the past couple hours. Yesterday I (21) found out that I caught HPV (very common virus infection which usually goes away on its own). There was only one person I was having intercourse with (with protection, but condoms don’t protect you from this type of infection) so i messaged him (26) about it and asked to make sure he and other people he was sleeping with to get a chceckup in case the virus is cancerous. The thing is, since our meetings were mostly sexual (let’s call it a situationship because we did do things other than sex) i decided that we had to end things. Ig has been our main source of communication so i messaged him there and explained everything briefly and asked not to see eachother again. Now not only am i worried for my health but also feel guilty for ending things off (i lost my v card to him and also got attached). My friend said that i did the right thing because he’s been notourioulsy ghosting me and disrespecting my time despite making plans. Did I do the right thing? I don’t know anymore…
I think i have to add this- he does get himself chcecked regularly but he probably didn’t know about the virus since it’s so hard for men to get tested
6 comments
You are always entitled to end things if you no longer feel like continuing. He doesn’t need to be an ass or treat you badly before that becomes an option. Relationships only last as long as they work for both/all parties.
Why would you break up with him? Work through the treatment together, if anything this could strengthen your relationship.
If you don’t want to see him again than don’t. But don‘t blame him for the infection. 80% of the population gets HPV an some point in their fist years of being sexually active. And tests are not that common (Are there even tests for men?) The best option would be for everyone to get the vaccine before the first sexual contact.
Bug it seems that you also had other reasons to break up with him.
Thank you for the responces
Hey so HPV is skin to skin transmission so condom couldn’t have prevented it. Also there is no permanent cure for HPV, you can get TCA time to time but lesions will come again. Your partner was sadly not regular with STD testing so hence you have gotten it.
That’s medical side of it.
Emotionally I fee you need to take care of yourself, do not feel guilty for ending things ,just focus on self. I feel like you are not thinking about possiblity of finding someone who likes to know you ,spend time with you beyond hookups. Think about what you want from life in say 5 years and is that was he is giving you ? If not you can end things if you wish. The feeling of guilt is normal to experience and will pass.
Just so you are aware you can get HPV from simply skin to skin contact. Health care people are at high risk