This is my first post ever so apologies in advance if I didn’t format correctly.
I’ve (34F) had a solid group of High School friends for years now (6 girls, all 34F) – some I’m closer with than others. Over the last couple of years, I’ve noticed that I don’t always feel good after hanging out with some of them. They aren’t doing anything specifically to hurt me, but it just feels like they aren’t happy for me when it comes to milestones in my life (wedding, new house) and don’t have a genuine curiosity about what IS going on in my life.. whether it’s good or bad. Maybe I don’t have as much in common with them anymore? As I’ve gotten older, I have less tolerance for one-way street friendships. I wish I could lower my expectations, trust me, but it’s really hard for me to do.
My question is, I like throwing parties/entertaining and as my birthday is coming up I wanted to host something smaller and not include some of the girls. No one has done this before in the group (leave people out) so it would definitely be a statement. I don’t want to start drama, but why should I surround myself with people who don’t make me feel great? But on the other hand, I also don’t want to be left out of things either. Should I suck it up and continue to invite all the girls to not rock the boat or hurt anyone’s feelings? Again, they aren’t doing anything malicious – but at some point in your life your circle gets smaller, right? (I think this is harder for me because we grew up together and feels wrong to leave them out)
TL;DR: Unsure if I should stop hanging out with childhood friends who don’t always make me feel good – need advice.
1 comment
Why don’t you just fade away from the ones you don’t particularly like *then* have a girl’s night without them included? That way it’s not as much of a “you’re not my friend” statement.