I am a 33(f) and for the most part, an absolute loner. It’s been super hard finding anyone who has the same likes and hobbies as me. This Wednesday I plan on attending a comedy show for one of my favorite comedians and maybe hitting a bar up afterwards. I’m excited but feel nervous about being by myself, since most of the audience will be (I’m assuming) couples and groups. I know many people will say “Just do what you want who cares what others think” but as someone who is trying to attract friends and a partner, I do care, and I do want to know if it comes off creepy or weird. TIA!
12 comments
To attract others you need to be comfortable, relaxed, and confident. Going to a social venue by yourself is a good way to face the fear of being somewhere where you don’t know anyone. It’s like going to a movie by yourself. Keep in mind that no one is paying attention to you, judging you. That’s bad and good. It’s bad because you feel small, insignificant and invisible. It’s a good thing because you’re free from worrying about how you appear to others. This is not to say be a slob of a person. Dress well. Sit confidently. Walk confidently and with purpose even if it’s to just mingle and explore by yourself. Say, I’m going to get up from my perch and check this place out. That imbues your movements with purpose as opposed to loitering or meandering.
You got it! I’m sure some people might find it strange, but I think a lot of people out there get it and respect it. Most importantly, any of the people you would connect with positivity would get it.
Who cares what other people think? Go and enjoy the experience! If you meet some cool people, great! If not, enjoy your outing solo!
I’m pretty sure people think that a person at events like that alone are looking to get laid though so be ready for a lot of sexual attention.
Anyone who’s judging you for enjoying your own company in public is automatically a loser. What confident/fun/cool person goes out of their way to judge how someone else is having fun?
I’m sure people going there by themselves will be attracted to you because you’re enjoying yourself and having a good time.
I’m not saying this to be rude, but most people don’t notice others enough to care. They’re paying attention to their experience, not yours.
Unless something stands out to me about a person (they’re wearing an interesting outfit or behaving in a remarkable way) I don’t really pay attention to them. Especially if I’m out to watch a performance.
31(f) and I regularly attended events alone before meeting my husband. Have a cocktail and relax while you enjoy your show. I wouldn’t put too much thought into being alone there. I hope you have a good time!
I applaud them (in my head of course) for doing something brave and then go on with whatever else is going on.
I’m super curious now… what are your likes and hobbies? I guarantee someone who sees your post loves the same things.
I’m too worried about myself to notice what others are doing tbh.
You’re a woman so you’re fine. Be safe.
I’m usually alone at social events myself to be honest. The last one I went to was a disc golf putting league at a brewery, and I saw a girl sitting by herself, looking around and checking her phone.
I really wish I could have walked up and said hello. I guess what I think when I see someone like that, is that they look like they could use some company.
I don’t know if this is a good tip, but I feel like if she looked at me and smiled I probably would have at least introduced myself. I guess it really depends on if you look like you’re trying to be alone/ by yourself looking to socialize.
it’s not conventional, but not “weird”. just have a good sound-bite you can tell people if u get asked “why are you here alone?” in the line of “oh I just like comedy the show a lot and even better If I get to meet new faces :)”