Disclaimer, I know not *all* men are like this, this is just a description of my personal experiences with men.
Every relationship with a man I’ve had, they’re incapable of doing god damn anything that requires effort unless I BEG or help them extensively: planning dates/anniversaries, giving personalized gifts, paying for food/drinks/experiences (movies, the zoo, etc.), leading when we’re out/walking around, ffs even navigating in the passenger seat while I drive them around. I’ve been able to do these things ever since I began dating and it just boggles my mind that they seriously think it’s acceptable to just let women do all the work in dating, and they seem to think we don’t mind/don’t notice that we are doing almost all of the mental/emotional work.
I went on my first date with someone not male (NB last month and it was so lovely. We worked together to find a place to eat, split the bill, they offered me an apartment tour and a drink once we got there, and actively made an effort to engage with me. This date really proved that it’s really not that fucking hard to just put a bit of effort in, and made me realize men have been wasting my time for so long, and I deserve better. I haven’t seen this person due to winter break and our hometowns being so far but 1 can’t wait to see them again.
Although I am definitely still attracted to men, I seriously wonder if making an effort to steer clear of them would make me happier as a person and help me find romantic fulfillment. It would take some effort, but honestly I am just so tired of babysitting.
2 comments
I think a lot of ppl “understand” their personal experiences are personal but the don’t “get” that they’re personal. All we can gather from your experiences is that the men you’ve dated didn’t put any effort into relationships with you. So to remedy that, we go out and find the ones that will.
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