My girlfriend (31 F) has lived her entire life at her parents house and has never lived on her own. She is extremely close with her family and says she never wants to ever leave the place in Ohio where she has grown up. I, on the other hand, find Ohio very boring and way too cold. I want to live somewhere down south for the opportunities and better weather. I even made a concession and said we can live in Ohio for many years and then we could move away to another place where I would want to live to both get what we want (partly). She still says no, she wants to die in Ohio because she always wants to be right there for family even though I told her I would personally pay for a flight for her to see family when she wanted to if we moved. I’m trying to be as reasonable as possible but she won’t budge. This has caused a lot of stress for us as well as her lack of independence (her parents do quite a bit for her while she lives at home such as cook dinner and buy groceries). It sucks because we have tons of chemistry and attraction towards one another and I do love her very much. What is advised in this situation and could this just be a lost cause? Thanks for the advice.
TLDR: I love my girlfriend but we may be too different?
4 comments
Sounds like you understand the situation, it’s up to you, we can’t make the choice for you.
I cant imagine only wanting to stay in one state for your whole life, I get being close to your family but Jesus there is a whole world out there and she just wants to be in this state for her entire life and die there.
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IDK, i feel like shes gonna hold you back from the future you want and if she cant be an adult and move out of mom and dads house and try make a life for herself than that’s her lose and you shouldn’t hold yourself back because than it’ll just turn into resentment towards her
I’ve spent my whole life in Ohio and can’t wait to move away! In your situation, you are offering many options and compromises and she is refusing to budge at all. That does not bode well for your future with her. Also if she did agree. You would then be forced into the caretaker role that her parents currently have since she is unable to be independent. Ask yourself if that’s how you want to spend the rest of your life.
Seems to me like she’s told you what she wants to do.
You can either compromise on your aspirations to stay together or respectfully move on. If you did convince her to leave the transition would probably be incredibly stressful for her and could lead to resentment anyway.
Sometimes people have wants and needs that make little to no sense to us. But the one thing you must never do is cover your ears when someone tells you their truth.