During lockdown, my brother, his baby mama, and two kids (1y/o and a few months old) live with my parents and me. During this time, my brother and his BM were very toxic and physically abusive to one another. It got bad that, at one point, I threatened to call the police. Because of that, my brother got mad at me because “family shouldn’t call the police on each other,” but I felt like their kids shouldn’t be seeing their mom and dad physically hurting each other. My brother told me I wasn’t allowed to see his kids (even tho we all lived together), so I wasn’t able to give them hugs, talk to them, etc. I haven’t forgiven him for using his kids like pawns like that. During Easter of 2021, the BM left to go back with her family, and she took the kids. I have been in No Contact with my brother because of everything. I haven’t seen my niblings since then. The now issue is that my brother has the kids for a few days, and I’m not obviously allowed to see them. My mom wants me to make amends with my brother and apologize for threatening to call the police so I can be a part of the kids’ lives. I don’t want to apologize because I don’t feel like I have anything to apologize for. My mom is putting me in a challenging position because she keeps on saying she wants her only two kids to be on talking terms again before she ever dies. I don’t know what to do, and I would appreciate any advice.
3 comments
Why isn’t your mum telling your brother than he should apologise for expecting everyone to put up with his abusive behaviour!?
I’m with you here – you weren’t the one in the wrong and if your brother wants to improve relations then he should be showing that he’s improved himself and that he knows its wrong.. he absolutely shouldn’t be apologised to for scaring you to the point that you were ready to call the police!
You got nothing to apologize for. You did the right thing thing. Children shouldn’t witness their parents fighting each other. You mother should’ve warned your your brother to not fight his BM infront of the children. Apologising just affirms your brother’s and his BM position as correct.
You did the right thing and I would stick to your guns. Your mother is a part of the problem by turning a blind eye to her sons appalling behaviour. You should have words with your mother, telling her that if she really cared abour her grandchildren, then she wouldn’t allow her son to beat their mother up. Name and shame your brother in the family for the scumbag he is!